Faceless Abuser
by Othello's Adonis
Summary: Bakura is abusive towards Ryou. One night he took it too far...AU, yaoi, shonenai, rape, cutting, attempted suicide...This is a bad summary. The story isn't.
1. I'm Giving in to You

**Sooo, I've decided to rewrite this fic because I honestly think it really needs to be rewritten. I know a lot of people reviewed it and said that they really liked it, but it needs a bit of an overhaul. Most of the chapters will be the same, just with some things changed and some new things added. So, please bear with me as I rewrite this fic and please, all of you who reviewed before, review again and tell me what you think of the changes. I'm thinking about adding one or two new chapters as well. So, read on, my fans! Read On…**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape or form, own Yugioh! Please look for someone else to sue.**

_**Faceless Abuser**_

_By Othello's Adonis_

"_I'm giving in to you/I'm dying tonight/I'm giving in to you/Watch me crumble/I'm giving into you/I'm crying tonight"_

**-Linkin Park-**

**Chapter One: **_I'm Giving In To You_

"What the hell did you tell them?" An enraged voice echoed throughout the small house quickly followed by the sound of a loud smack. A loud crash followed suit along with a sharp yelp of a small male teenager with platinum blonde hair. The teen raised a hand and tenderly touched his cheek, but otherwise did not move from his place on the floor. When it looked as though he was going to be attacked again, he quickly answered the question he'd been asked.

"I didn't say anything! I swear!" His voice pleaded for mercy, fear rolling off the young male just as fear rolled off a mouse that knew it was trapped and going to die.

"Don't fucking lie to me! If you didn't say anything, then why did your school call, huh? If you told them it was nothing to worry about, why would they fucking call the house?" The voice seemed to echo off the walls of the room, which only made it seem angrier to the poor teen, who was curled up in a corner, trying to get as far away from the person screaming at him as he possibly could.

"I…I don't know why….I guess they just aren't buying my excuses of being careless when walking home or in PE or when I'm cleaning up the house anymore," the small teen sniffled in response, knowing his attacker wouldn't believe him but still trying to make him believe him nonetheless.

"That's total bullshit, Ryou, and you know it."

"No! I swear, Bakura! That's what I told them! I told them that I hadn't been fast enough while running away from that cruel dog down the street and had barely managed to escape being totally mauled. I swear that's what I told them, Bakura! Please believe me!" Ryou begged of the older man, but still braced himself, waiting to be slapped again. Instead, all he heard was the elder male snort disbelievingly and then he heard the sound of retreating footsteps. The young platinum blonde hesitantly peered over the tops of his knees. He tensed when Bakura's retreating form stopped suddenly and the male turned to look at him in that pathetic form.

"I'll let you off this time with just a warning, Hikari, but there won't be such a courtesy the next time it happens," was all Bakura said before turning around again and continuing towards the kitchen. Ryou let out the breath he'd been holding before hugging his knees tightly to his chest, trying his best to keep from shaking. A few small, crystalline tears fell from his eyes, down his cheeks and dripped onto his shirt and jeans, creating little wet spots. He only allowed a few tears to fall though and quickly dried the rest. If he took to long, Bakura would come back and start to beat him again for being such a lazy ass and not getting dinner started. The teen quickly stood – grateful that Bakura had let him off with just a slap, otherwise making dinner would have been a difficult affair – and almost raced to the kitchen. He pulled a plain looking, navy blue apron off it's hook, quickly placed it over his clothes, and then pulled a strainer and a big pot out from one of the lower cupboards.

"You don't mind having spaghetti tonight, do you, Bakura?" Ryou asked softly, turning to his Yami and waiting for a 'yes' or 'no' reply.

"It'll be fine," Bakura murmured, not bothering to look at the teen. Ryou simply nodded and got to work. He pulled out the things he needed to make the spaghetti, meatballs and the sauce. He always made sure to make everything, even if Bakura didn't eat it. Sure, he got mad when Ryou made stuff he didn't want to eat, but all he did was complain. However, if Ryou neglected to make something that Bakura happened to have wanted to eat that night, he would be hit, forced to make the food, not allowed to eat for the rest of the night and then – after Bakura had finished his dinner – he would beat Ryou some more for being so incompetent.

Ryou filled the pot with water, placed it on the stove and turned on the fire. It would take a little while for the water to boil, so while he waited, Ryou sat at the table with Bakura, humming softly to keep his mind distracted from other topics he'd really rather not think about. Rather suddenly, Ryou found himself on the floor, his face burning with a stinging pain again, which caused him to yelp in surprise and pain. Bakura had slapped him.

"Goddammit, Ryou! Why the fuck do you always, always have to hum that same stupid tune?" Bakura shouted this as he rose from his seat at the table to tower over the fallen teen before spitting on him. Ryou hesitated, fearing that any sort of response would just make things worse. Of course, his hesitancy was taken as a refusal to answer by Bakura, which infuriated him and he smashed his foot into his Hikari's gut. "Answer me, you little shit!"

"It's the only tune I know. You've prohibited me from listening to music, so I can't pick up any other tunes to hum," Ryou replied, his voice shaky from being kicked in the gut. When Bakura said nothing more, the small teen took it as a sign to get up and get back to making dinner. And get up he did, albeit he was incredibly wobbly, but he managed to make his way back to the stove to finish making dinner. "Dinner will be ready in about forty or so minutes, okay?"

Though he'd phrased it like one, it was not a question and Ryou did not even bother to look back at Bakura, nor did he wipe the spit off his face. Instead, he focused intently of the water that was beginning to boil on the stove and dumped the spaghetti in. He made his way over to the cupboard that he'd pulled the strainer and pot from and pulled out another semi-large pot. He set it on the stove and dumped in the sauce to heat it up. Ryou quickly mixed together the meat with a few other things (eggs and bread), rolled them into medium sized balls and dropped them into the same pot as the sauce. _[A/N: This is how my dad makes his homemade meatballs and they are sooo damn good. I swear, it's almost like an addiction how good they are. Especially when, after he makes them, he cooks them together with the sauce. Oh, they taste so good!]_

Dinner was a quiet affair; it always was. Ryou was terrified of angering Bakura, and Bakura simply preferred to eat in silence. Ryou finished his meal as quickly as he possibly could and deposited his plate in the sink. He quickly fled from the kitchen to the upstairs part of the house, where his room was. Bakura ignored him and continued to eat.

When Ryou reached his room, he locked the door behind himself. It was a safety measure he took because of Bakura's after dinner habit of going out and getting drunk. When the man came home, he'd stomp around the house, destroying virtually everything that was in his path. The only good thing about this habit was that the next morning, Bakura would be too hung over and sluggish to do anything cruel to Ryou. And Ryou knew first hand just how malicious Bakura could be when he was in one of his drunken rages. The first time Bakura had come home thoroughly intoxicated, Ryou had unwisely fallen asleep on the couch. Apparently this offended Bakura in some way, because when the man had seen him sleeping there, he'd shoved the poor teen onto the floor and proceeded to straddle him so he could not get away. Ryou had never been beaten so badly in his life until that moment. In fact, the beating was so bad, that Ryou had trouble walking the next day. To make matters even worse, when he had shown up at school so badly bruised and limping, the nurse called his home out of concern for his well being.

Needless to say, Bakura had been lees than pleased with such a phone call. When Ryou had come home from school that day, Bakura smacked him so hard that Ryou was sure he had a concussion and then made the platinum blonde teen sleep outside, on the front porch. He refused to let Ryou in, no matter how much the boy begged him to. Ryou shuddered, remembering the event; it had been raining all day and it was expected to rain all night, meaning Ryou only had his thin school uniform to protect him from the wet and the cold. He knew he could have gone over to Yuugi's house, even Otogi's house would have been open to him, but his friends would have pestered him endlessly about why he had such a huge bruise on his face and how – exactly – he managed to get locked out of his own house. So, Ryou had slept under the small overhang that protected the front door from the rain. The next morning, he'd awoken to find the door unlocked – Bakura had probably unlocked it sometime after Ryou had gone to sleep outside on the porch. He crept into his house as stealthily as he could manage and made his way to the dryer, where he tossed his uniform in so it would be ready in time for him to wear it to school. Not that he did not have spare uniforms, they were just all in the closet in Bakura's room and there was no way Ryou was about to attempt sneaking in there.

The teen could hear Bakura coming down the stairs, complaining about a monster headache. Ryou had raced out the door and down the street before Bakura was totally aware that he'd even been in the house at all. Of course, being outside in the rain all night does have its consequences and, Ryou being Ryou, managed to get sick and faint during school that day. He'd assured the nurse that he would be fine and as soon as he got home, he would rest. That afternoon, he took as much time as he possibly could to get home.

There was a sudden, rather loud knock on Ryou's door, forcing him out of his reverie. Knowing it could only be one person, he let out a heavy sigh, getting up off his bed and dragging his feet all the way to the door.

"Is there something you need from me, Bakura?" Ryou asked, while leaning against the solid oak door.

"Open the door," Bakura commanded. Well, this was new. Normally, Bakura never came anywhere near his Hikari's room if he could help it.

"Why? Why do you want?" Ryou questioned, cautiously backing away from the door. Apparently Bakura could sense this because he suddenly kicked the door as hard as he could, making it rattle on its hinges.

"Just open the fucking door," Bakura commanded again, his voice much angrier than before. That's when Ryou began to hear it, the light slur in his Yami's speech. Bakura must have been incredibly drunk for his speech to be affected like that, and apparently he wanted to torture Ryou while in his drunken rage.

"Okay, just give me a second," the teen sighed, giving in to the demands of the man on the other side of the door. Even if he wanted to, chances of keeping Bakura out were slim to none. The platinum blonde unlocked the door and opened it for the elder man before quickly scampering away. Bakura swaggered in, nearly falling to the floor with every few steps he took. Ryou slid, as quietly as he could to a corner of the room, hoping and praying that Bakura would just leave, but – of course – there was no such luck tonight. Bakura turned towards Ryou, swaying as he walked; however that did not frighten Ryou. What did frighten him was the predatory gleam in the Yami's eyes. Upon reaching his target, Bakura blocked any hope of escape Ryou may have had by placing an arm on each wall, thus effectively trapping the poor, poor teen. This was definitely not a good sign, so Ryou asked again, his voice soft and filled with fear, "What do you need, Bakura?"

The man did not respond, nor did he give any sign that he'd actually heard the frightened teen's question. Instead, he simply leaned his head down and pressed his lips to the other male's lips. If that didn't tell Ryou what Bakura wanted from him, then the boy was a hopeless case.

An intense mixture of shock and fear screamed through the teen's body, triggering his fight or flight response; it is fairly obvious which response Ryou is most suited to. He pushed against Bakura's chest as hard as he possibly could, forcing the elder male away for a few precious moments, moments that Ryou desperately used to run from his insane, drunk Yami. While the push had caught Bakura off guard, Ryou had next to no luck in those few precious moments that were meant for running as far and as fast as he could. The elder of the two tightly grabbed a hold of Ryou's wrist and yanked him roughly backwards, pinning him to his body. Instantly, Ryou began to struggle, desperately trying to find some way to get out of the room or even get out of the house. His struggles were in vain as Bakura tightened his hold, slowly starting to cut off his Hikari's ability to breathe. Realizing he would not – or rather, could not – win against his Yami, Ryou stopped fighting and simply stood there, waiting for Bakura to make some sort of move. The taller man grinned predatorily as he ran a hand down Ryou's chest and over his stomach, making to smaller male shiver.

"There now," he whispered in his Hikari's ear, nipping it lightly and delighting in the whimper it elicited from the teen trapped in his arms. "Be a good boy and it won't have to hurt. You may even enjoy it…"

The only response he got was a whimper of fear, but that was fine with Bakura. He was too drunk to realize just how hard Ryou was shaking within his grasp, and even if he did notice, it was doubtful that he cared. Bakura did what he wanted to do and he didn't give a damn about anyone he may hurt in the process, just as he was doing now. He slipped a hand under Ryou's shirt and brushed his hand up the pale stomach, over the soft chest and stopped to brush his fingers over one of Ryou's nipples before giving it a pinch. The trapped teen released a loud whimper and a yelp, hoping they would catch Bakura's attention and make him stop.

"Bakura," he whimpered, begging with tears in his eyes now, "Bakura, please stop. Please don't do this."

Bakura either didn't hear his Hikari's pleas or didn't care, and to prove this, he bit down in the juncture of Ryou's neck, loving the cry of pain if elicited from the small form in his arms. His hands did their work quickly, and soon Ryou's shirt was tossed to the floor. The younger male shivered as the cold air in the room hit him, though it was barely noticeable since he was already shivering so badly from being relentlessly attacked by his Yami.

Soon tiring of standing, Bakura picked up the small, light teenager in a bridal style fashion and deposited him on the bed. Bakura crawled up to loom over him for a moment before leaning down and slowly kissing his way down Ryou's chest and stomach, holding the other's hands captive so he couldn't fight back. When he reached Ryou's bellybutton, he dipped his tongue in and out, making the trapped Hikari squirm in discomfort and whimper.

"Oh, Ryou, you're going to love this. I promise. Just relax and it'll feel really good," Bakura whispered against Ryou's stomach, making him squirm again. He heard the sound of a zipper being undone and the rustling of panting being removed. When the coldness of the room brushed against his legs, he realized it was his pants that had been removed. There was the sound of another zipper being undone and more rustling of clothes being removed, which Ryou assumed meant that Bakura had taken off his pants as well.

The small teen whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut while the man atop him continued his ministrations. He ignored Ryou's cries and sobs for him to stop. He wanted it, and Bakura always got what he wanted. Much later that night, Bakura exited his Hikari's cold room, leaving behind a sobbing and bleeding Ryou on the bed.

Ryou greeted the next day without any emotion, not even anger. He slowly pushed himself up, wincing at the throb that went through the lower half of his body. Of course, that pain was nothing compared to the searing pain he felt when he finally managed to stand, stepping away from the now bloody bed. His entire body roared with pain, but his bottom was especially sore. He wobbled his way to the small bathroom that connected to his bedroom, wincing every few steps at his soreness. He turned on the water, allowing it to warm up before stepping into the shower. He needed to wash off the blood and grime that still adorned his battered body. When sure that no more of last night's events could be washed off of his body, Ryou tenderly stepped out of the shower, dried off his body – wincing every now and then when he bent his body at an unfavorable angle – and gingerly pulled on his school uniform. Moving at a slow pace, he collected his books and any other supplies he needed for school, carefully arranging them inside his bag before going downstairs.

Thankfully, Bakura wasn't in the kitchen, but that didn't mean he wasn't around somewhere on the first floor. Ryou decided a quick and fast exit would be best and made himself some toast before rushing towards the door, tears threatening to leak from his eyes at the pain that roared up and down his back. He had almost made it to freedom when a hand shot out of the darkness, taking hold of his wrist and stopping him. The fear that gripped Ryou then was so powerful and so tight that Ryou was sure he was going to suffocate. Turning, he saw the one person he was most afraid to see at that moment, Bakura.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bakura growled at Ryou, gripping the captured wrist tighter until Ryou was sure it would be bruised.

"To school…" Ryou replied in a small voice, looking down at the floor. He was starting to shake and wanted nothing more than to pull away from his tormentor and run, but he was too scared to do so.

"Don't even think of telling anyone about last night's little escapade, you little slut," the Yami warned, letting go of Ryou's wrist and pushing him towards the door. Ryou opened the door and stepped into the sunlight.

"How could I possibly ever tell anyone?" He whispered more to himself than Bakura, but he knew the elder male had heard him. Ryou left, closing the door behind him and began the long process of limping down the street. Though he did try his best to walk straight, or at least somewhat normally, he couldn't go more than a few steps before he felt his entire body creak in agony from being forced to do so. He barely managed to make it to school on time, and half the time he was there he felt uncomfortable, making it nearly impossible for him to concentrate on what he was supposed to be learning in class. All the people scared him, being stuck in a crowd made him break out into a cold sweat and whenever someone touched his shoulder to get his attention, it was all he could do to keep from completely flipping his lid.

"Hey, Ryou," a familiar voice chirped happily behind him. When he turned to see who had addressed him, he saw Yuugi standing there with everyone else in tow.

"Hello, Yuugi. Everyone," Ryou greeted back, acknowledging them with a nod of his head.

"Do you want to sit with us while we eat lunch?" Yuugi peered over at his friend, hoping he would agree. Ryou inwardly cursed his bad luck. He was already pretty close to a nervous breakdown, of that he was sure. Now, Yuugi wanted him to sit in a huge group of people and he was expected to actually eat…? How could such a thing even be possible? However, Ryou also knew that if he declined, he would have to give a good reason, which he didn't have. So, he pretended to give the suggestion some thought before replying.

"Sure, I'd love to. It's been a while since I ate with all of you," Ryou replied, smiling softly at his friend.

"Wai!" Yuugi sang, taking hold of Ryou's hand and leading him to the table they normally sat at. The platinum haired teen had to resist every instinct in his body that told him to yank his hand away from Yuugi and run. When everyone sat down at the table, Ryou winced slightly – his bottom was still sore after all – but hoped it would go unnoticed. Of course, since his luck was never that good, Otogi just happened to see the action and commented on it.

"Hey, Ryou, are you alright?"

"Hmm? Of course, I'm fine. Why?" Ryou did his best to sound innocent, but he wasn't sure just how convincing he sounded.

"Well, it's just that you winced as you sat down," Otogi replied.

"Ah, yeah. Yesterday I was chased down by a dog," Ryou lied smoothly. He found that is wasn't hard to lie to his friends anymore, not like how it had been when Bakura had first started beating him. Before, it had absolutely killed him to deceive the few people he actually trusted.

"Oh, I see." While the response was mild enough, the look Otogi sent his way told Ryou he didn't believe him. However, before Otogi could call him on the lie, a squeal from a clique of girls caught the attention of everyone in the cafeteria. Ryou stood up from the table, excusing himself and quickly headed for the exit opposite from the source of the noise. Bakura was here; he'd come to his school and the nasty look he had on his face told Ryou that things were going to get ugly very fast. His body protested the sudden movements of trying to escape to source of his fear, but Ryou ignored them, knowing it would only get much worse if he was caught by his Yami.

Just as freedom seemed to be within his grasp – or at least the possibility of escaping and finding somewhere to hide – Bakura tackled him to the floor. It seemed that trying to flee from Bakura had only made things worse because when the elder male stood, he gripped Ryou's upper arms tightly, ensuring the teen couldn't escape a second time.

"Why the fuck did you run away from me?" Bakura hissed at his Hikari, his voice low but still booming with anger. The whole cafeteria was silent, carefully watching the two identical males. Ryou said nothing, simply turning his head away from Bakura. Though this action enraged the taller of the two, he held back as much as he possibly could. He let go of one arm and used his now free hand to force the teen's face back towards him. "Look at me when I talk to you."

"Was there something you wanted from me, Bakura?" Ryou asked, looking up at the man with expressionless eyes. He hadn't answered Bakura's question, but Bakura gave no sign that he noticed or even cared.

"We're leaving. Right now," was all Bakura said, his voice still very angry. Ryou said nothing and allowed the elder male to drag him out of the school cafeteria. He didn't even have enough time to collect his school things. His friends watched him being dragged away and Ryou looked up at them, smiling ever so slightly.

"Sorry I wasn't able to eat lunch with you guys," he said, waving his free hand at them to say goodbye. While they were walking down the street from his school, Ryou noticed that Bakura still hadn't let go of his arm. The teen had the sudden urge to bite and gnaw at the arm that was holding him captive, but held back of actually following through. Instead, he asked shyly, "Ah, Bakura? Would you mind letting go on my arm?"

"No," was all the reply he got and was dragged down the street in a much more forceful fashion than before.

"Ah, Bakura! I can't walk that fast! I'm going to fall!" Like he predicted, Ryou's legs suddenly gave out from under him, sending him down to crash on the pavement. Ryou closed his eyes, expecting a sudden pain to jar his already battered body. However, no pain came; he never felt the cold pavement hit his body. Confused, Ryou opened one eye, then the other, and discovered that Bakura had caught him.

"Humph. Watch out, idiot," Bakura hissed into his light's ear. The feeling of Bakura's arms holding him – rather securely, Ryou couldn't help noticing – and the feeling of Bakura's breath against his ear as the other spoke was too much for Ryou to handle. The memories of the previous night suddenly began to surface, causing the youger of the two platinum blondes to suddenly jerk in the elder's grip. Bakura noticed the jerk, but was still caught off guard when Ryou suddenly snapped up, causing Bakura's hold on him to falter. Ryou saw that Bakura had been caught off guard, and took the opportunity to run off before the Yami could regain his composure.

Ryou continued running, not bothering to look back and see if Bakura was following him. He couldn't bring himself to care, even if the elder man was. The only thought that was currently in his head was to get as far away from the situation he'd been in as fast as he could. The memories that kept surfacing even as Ryou tried to suppress them only made him run faster, as if he could outrun the pain he was in. When he finally did stop, the platinum blonde realized he'd run all the way into the downtown area of the city. Ryou paused for a moment to catch his breath and to take in his surroundings. Most of downtown was actually fairly normal, but it did also have its upper class areas and its sleazy areas. Ryou, unfortunately, had run into one of the areas that was the worst in terms of its sleaziness. There were groups of hookers on virtually every street corner. Also, the teen could swear he saw drug deals being conducted out in the open, not even bothering to care if the cops saw them. Downtown was also famous for its gangs, who – Ryou had heard – were fiercely territorial.

"Well, well. What do we have here guys?" A greasy sounding voice sneered from Ryou's left. The teen turned to look and realized he'd attracted the attention of some gang members. They were slowly starting to gather around him, and the platinum blonde backed up a few steps from them. The same gang member that had called out before, started laughing and said, "Aw, look. The little whore is afraid of us. Maybe we ought to show him that we aren't so bad once he gets to know us."

_Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap_, Ryou started backing up slowly. He backed right into a pair of muscular tan arms.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't harass this boy," came a familiar voice. Ryou turned his head, and saw none other than Malik.

"Who the fuck are you blondie?" The greasy man growled. He was obviously annoyed that he'd been interrupted.

"I'm shocked. You don't recognize me?" Malik smirked at the men. Apparently one of the men did recognize him, because his face went pale and he rushed to tell the greasy voiced man Malik's identity. Accordingly, that man's face drained of its color.

"I-If we'd known he was with you, we'd have never bothered him," the man stuttered in fear.

"Glad to know it. Now scram," Malik ordered the group. The men couldn't take off fast enough. When they were alone, the blonde dropped his arms from their position around Ryou's shoulders – something Ryou was silently grateful for – and suddenly started lecturing the teen. "Jesus, Ryou! You know this part of town is dangerous! What do you think you're doing coming down here? Especially in clothes that just scream weakling? If you're really that interested in coming to this part of town, wear clothes that are more masculine, or at the very least, less feminine...Why did you come down here anyways?"

The teen's cheeks flushed red and he stared at the sidewalk as he mumbled words of apology to Malik.

"Bakura and I got into a fight. I got scared and ran from him. I didn't mean to come to downtown, honestly," Ryou answered Malik's question with a partial-truth. He had run away from Bakura and he hadn't meant to come to downtown.

"I guess I'll accept that answer for now since I can see you're sporting some nice red marks on your cheeks."

"Thanks. And thanks for saving me from those guys earlier."

"No big deal. I'm the toughest guy around here and they know it. You're just lucky I happened to be passing by and saw you being cornered. If I hadn't things would have turned out much worse for you," Malik commented casually.

"Hey, Malik?"

"Hm?"

"Is it possible to get a knife around here?" Ryou suddenly asked. Malik nearly tripped and turned to look at Ryou oddly. Surely he'd misheard him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"A knife," Ryou repeated. "Is it possible to get one around here?"

"Well, I can't say it's hard to get your hands on one, but why do you want one?"

"Ah, just in case someone breaks into house or I somehow end up here in downtown again," Ryou rushed.

"I see. Well, follow me then. I'll show you a good shop that's now ridiculously expensive." Malik sounded almost cheery, which was slightly disturbing, even if this was Malik we were talking about. Ryou followed after Malik, not wanting to be left on his own again. Malik showed the petite teen to a nearby knife shop and helped him pick out a light but sturdy knife. It could deal a fair amount of damage if wielded correctly. After paying for his purchase, Ryou said his goodbyes to Malik and headed home.

When he reached his house, Ryou was almost too afraid to go in. He considered not going in and finding some other accommodations for the night, but knowing Bakura, he would be even angrier if Ryou didn't come home at all. Gathering up what little courage he had at that moment, Ryou unlocked the door and crept in.

"And where the hell have you been?" Bakura stood before Ryou, eyes blazing.

"I was downtown, hanging out with Malik..." Ryou replied, chewing his bottom lip.

"Uh-huh..." Bakura seemed to be disbelieving of Ryou's words.

"I don't have anything else to say, Bakura. Would you like me to make you dinner?"

"No, I've already eaten," Bakura replied in a dismissive manner, while walking away. Ryou stood frozen in place. He couldn't believe it. Bakura hadn't hit him or slammed him into a wall or done anything at all. Offering a small prayer of thanks to God for this favor, Ryou quickly climbed the stairs to his room and once again, locked the door.

The sheets of his bed were still bloody and Ryou shivered, leaning against the door and sliding down to the floor. He could feel the tears starting to spill from his eyes, and the bile threatened to rise in his throat. All the memories of the previous night were resurfacing and no matter how hard he tried, Ryou could not push them away from the forefront of his mind. He was reliving that pain and humiliation all over again. The feeling of Bakura's lips trailing down his body, the feeling of Bakura thrusting into him and out and in again. All of these thoughts and memories came flooding through. It all hurt so much and he just wanted the pain to go away.

Ryou shifted on the floor and felt something poke his side. He quickly remembered the knife he'd bought earlier. Taking it out of his pocket, the brown-eyed high school student pulled out the blade. He held it against his skin, pushing without breaking the skin. He stood from his position on the floor, and went to his bathroom. He got into his bathtub, sat down and then pushed harder on his arm with the knife. He watched, almost fascinated, as his blood welled up and spilled out from the cut. It felt good. It pain from his arms pushed back the memories from the previous night. Ryou cut his arm again and again until his mind was full of nothing but the pain & pleasure coming from his arm.

The teen carefully lifted himself up and washed off the cuts. He hissed in discomfort when the water ran over the cuts. It stung like mad. Once done, he gently wrapped his arm with bandages and slipped into a pair of pajamas. Remembering his sheets were still bloody, he pulled them off his bed and got a clean set from his closet. He quickly made his bed and retrieved his other comforter from the closet.

When the bed was finally ready, Ryou settled into it, making sure to be careful of his arm because it still stung. He turned out the light next to his bed and pulled the comforter up over his head. Then, slowly, chocolate brown eyes closed and Ryou entered sweet oblivion.

**REWRITTEN: 02-26-2011**

**I'm aware that Ryou is not acting how a rape victim would most likely act. Since I've no idea how one would act, I'm making him conflicted. He's terrified that he's going to be violated like that again, but at the same time, I don't want him to have a complete lack of strength. He needs to be able to find the strength to pick himself back up again...Though first he'll go through a downward spiral. He's stuck between wanting to tell his friends and being terrified of what his friends would think of him if they knew what had happened to him.**


	2. Holding out for a Hero

Okay, here's the next chapter of Faceless Abuser. I'm sorry it took so bloody long to post. I had a monstrous writer's block about half way through writing it…I'm not gonna give that damned disclaimer again as that is just a waste of time. I expect that anyone who's reading this chapter has read the first one.

**No fucking flames! They're annoying, usually badly written, and pointless. I do not get fucking guilt trips about this kind of thing. Want to really be a good person? Agree that different people have DIFFERENT OPINIONS. As that is nature's and God's law.**

This is **yaoi, slash, boyXboy love**. You have been warned. Don't like it? Tough. Don't read it.

+…Faceless Abuser…+

"_I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light He's gotta be sure, he's gotta be soon and he's gotta be larger than life"_

-Frou Frou-

Ryou woke up the next morning with Bakura pounding on his door.

"Ryou! Get the hell up and get down stairs! Your friends are here to see you," the yami yelled through the door. Sighing, Ryou slipped out of his warm bed and trudged to the bathroom. He quickly washed his face and brushed out his long hair. Walking out of the bathroom, still groggy with sleep, Ryou pulled out a midnight black long sleeved shirt and slipped it over his head. After he'd adjusted it so that it fell just right on his thin frame he picked up a pulled a pair of loose dark blue jeans off the hanger in his closet and slipped into them.

When he finally moved downstairs, Bakura looked like he wanted to hurt something, severely. 'Like that's a big surprise,' Ryou rolled his eyes and moved into the kitchen.

"What do you want for breakfast, Bakura?" the smaller man asked without turning to Bakura. It still gave him the shivers to look at that older man. When he did not hear any response, Ryou finally turned to see several of his friends staring at him in some degree of disbelief. This confused Ryou greatly.

"What? Why are you all looking at me like I have some deadly disease?"

"Ah, sorry Ryou. It's just, how can you act so normal after what happened yesterday," Yuugi spoke up, still staring.

"What happened yesterday?" Ryou furrowed his brow, looking clearly confused. At least, that's how he appeared to everyone else. On the inside though, the man's mind was working at warp speed.

"Eh? But Ryou, don't you remember yesterday? When Bakura slapped you?" Anzu looked at her friend, concern growing inside her. What was Ryou trying to play at?

"Hmmm," the platinum blonde made to look as though he were actually thinking, "No, I don't remember anything of the sort. Are you guys sure it was me?"

"Well, yeah, I think we're all sure it was you Ryou. So, what's up? Why are you playing dumb and why are you protecting Bakura?" Otogi took a step towards Ryou and Bakura's eye twitched in annoyance.

"I'm not protecting anybody. I honestly have no clue what you all are going on about," Ryou looked at every person in front of him, his eyes hiding what was going on in the hikari's mind. He was afraid, so afraid. And if he admitted to being slapped, Ryou knew that, somehow, it would be admitting everything else that Bakura has ever done to him. The weight shifted uncomfortably around inside his body.

"Ryou…" Yuugi stepped forward and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. Suddenly though, he found himself falling into Jou. Confusion crossed his face, how did that happen?

"Don't touch me!" everyone's attention turned back to Ryou, who had slipped down onto the floor. His knees were tucked tightly against his chest, ankles crossed. The black sleeved hands of the high school man wrapped around his legs and his head fell into the dip his knees and chest made. It was rare for Ryou to scream and when it did happen, it had to be something pretty bad.

"Ryou?" this time Jou decided to take his chances with his distressed friend. The platinum blonde flinched when he heard his name.

"Don't touch me. Please, don't do it. I'm begging you, stop. Stop it!" slowly, the chocolate-eyed man rocked himself back and forth, murmuring and crying.

"C'mon hikari, get up off the floor," Bakura's harsh voice sounded in his light's ears. The rocking stopped and Ryou pulled himself out of his huddled form, reaching for the counter top to pull his person up. Straightening out his body, Ryou dusted off the back of his pants and turned from his yami and friends again.

Trying to ignore the fact that everyone was staring at him, Ryou busied himself with making enough food for all. Ryou was so caught up in this that he did not notice when two pale arms snaked their way under both of his arms and trapped him to the counter. When he went to move to get the eggs out of the refrigerator, the smaller man found that another body was holding his in place. Looking down at the arms, Ryou could tell that it was Bakura behind him. His heart suddenly started to race, his adrenaline rising. Suddenly his mouth felt too dry and almost everything was spinning.

Turning in his captor's arms, Ryou saw an unfamiliar feeling in the yami's eyes. Everything continued to swirl as Ryou reached out to put a hand on Bakura's face, hoping it would steady the spinning room.

"Bakura?" Ryou caressed his older man's soft cheek before moving his lips closer than any sane person would normally want to.

"Ba..ku.." Ryou breathed out the syllables, his lips still moving closer as the edges of his vision began to blur and blacken. The last thing Ryou remembered was looking into brilliant brown eyes, like his own.

Everything kept spinning round and round. Ryou felt like he was going o be sick. Suddenly though, everything stopped, just coming to a sudden halt. Ryou felt himself tumble forward into the inky blackness. His body just seemed to keep falling. Falling into oblivion. _'I wonder if this is what it feels like to be in a coma…'_ Ryou let his mind fly in all sorts of directions, until his falling brought him to a door.

The door was black and chains wrapped around it, as if trying to keep it from ever being opened. Ryou took a hesitant step toward the door. When nothing happened, he took another step and another. Feeling sure nothing would happen to him, the brown-eyed boy began to walk normally to the door. The chains unlocked and fell to the ground.

The door's silver handle turned and revealed Ryou's bedroom. Something was off about it though. It did not feel as safe as before. The door squeaked shut and locked, causing Ryou to panic.

"Hello, Ryou," a husky voice breathed into his ear. Hands found their way to his hips and held him firmly in place.

"W-who are you?" Ryou's voice quaked in terror, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, I think you know who I am," a tongue slipped into the pinned man's ear then slipped down to his neck. A mouth attached itself to the junction of his neck, making Ryou whimper before breathing out a name. A name that still frightened him.

"Bakura…"

"That's right," the man behind him let out a quiet, cruel chuckle. One hand slipped forward and brushed Ryou's black shirt up to reveal a slightly toned chest. A choked gasp escaped the smaller man's lips before they were covered by the yami's. The kiss was harsh and commanding, making Ryou whimper and Bakura groan.

Before he really understood what was happening, Ryou was lifted up bridal style and carried to his bed. The small man's eyes became wide as realization hit him. It was going to happen again. Bakura was going to fuck him again and leave him lying there on the bed, broken, bleeding and sobbing. What surprised him the most though was the fact that the thought of Bakura leaving him alone hurt more than the thought of Bakura raping him again.

He felt his clothes be ripped off and the 3000-year-old spirit's mouth descend onto his chest, biting down to make him cry out in pain. Even though it was futile, Ryou pleaded for Bakura to stop. Bakura just kept going though, seeming to rejoice in the pleads and sobs from his hikari. Soon Ryou stopped his cries and just lay there, letting his yami violate him again and again.

"Ryou? Ryou, what's wrong? Ryou, wake up!" a voice shouted into his ear. Ryou's eyes snapped open and his body flew up, slamming his head into the owner of the voice's own.

"Ow! Fuck, Ryou! What the hell's the matter with you!" Ryou turned to see his yami holding his forehead in anger and pain. Bakura glared at his other, making it clearly known he was going to get it if he did not get an explanation soon.

"Ah, I'm really sorry yami. I was having a bad dream and you startled me by trying to wake me up. I really am sorry. It was an accident," Ryou finished quietly, his head turned down in embarrassment. Bakura snorted and stood up.

"What was it about?"

"Eh?"

"Your dream. What was it about?" Bakura peered at Ryou through the spaces in his fingers.

"Oh. Ah, well you see…" Ryou's face turned bright red.

"You were moaning and begging someone to stop. I just wanted to know," Bakura explained further.

"Ah. I-I was dreaming about what happened two nights ago. That's all. Sorry if it bothered you," the hikari looked down at the black sheets clutched in his hands. Ryou did not notice when Bakura sat down on the bed and leaned towards him. A sudden chill ran down the smaller man's spine when he felt warm breath against his earlobe.

"You know, Ryou, you should be more careful about how you phrase things. A man could easily take that as an invitation to do it again," Bakura whispered against his light's ear, enjoying the flinch and whimper that Ryou let escape his lips.

"N-no, Bakura. That's not what I meant I was just answering your question."

"Really," Bakura slid his tongue along the shell of Ryou's ear and Ryou whimpered louder than last time. The spirit grinned and dipped his head down the look into his light's eyes. Looking into the reflecting chocolate pools, he saw fear, insecurity and something unidentifiable. No matter what, he could not figure out what the other emotion was.

"P-please, Bakura. Don't play with me. Don't play," the brown orbs became crystalline and a tear spilled down the smaller's cheek. Bakura felt confused before he decided to ignore the thought that now plagued his mind. Moving closer, he softly placed his lips on Ryou's. Innocent eyes widened in shock before fluttering closed.

Slowly an arm wrapped around his waist causing the eyes to shoot open again. Ryou quickly shoved Bakura off himself and ran to the bathroom. He locked the door and slid down the only barrier between him and the yami. Tears freely fell from both eyes as Ryou touched his lips with his fingertips, remembering the gentle kiss.

"God, why does he have to do that? It's too cruel to make me fantasize that someone actually cares about me. Why?" Ryou sobbed into his palms as he sat on the cold tile of his bathroom floor. Life just never seemed to want to be on his side. Ryou wiped off his tears and waited for the shuffling noise that signaled Bakura's departure. He walked out into his room after he heard the door slam shut. Walking over, he locked it. He then moved to his desk and pulled out the knife he'd purchased yesterday. Sitting on his bed, Ryou brought the steel dagger down to his arm and began cutting. At first it was just random marks, then he twisted designs into the pale arm. Satisfied when his arm was basically nothing more than a pool of red, Ryou turned on the warm water in his bathroom to cleanse the wounds. The stinging and eventual numbing of his arm caused the tired hikari to relax. The coil of tension slowly came undone.

_/Hikari/_ Ryou jumped when he heard Bakura's voice in his mind.

/_Y-yes, yami? Is there something you needed?_/

/ _Well, no, but I wanted to know why I felt a sudden rush of pain and the relaxation coming from you…/_

_/Oh, ah. N-no reason./_

_/Hikari, has anyone ever told you that you're terrible at lying/_

_/I am not! If I was bad at it, then everybody at school would have found out what goes on in this house when the doors are closed/_

_/You're asking for it, Ryou. I swear to Ra, you are../_

_/Fine then! Come beat me! Better yet, come rape me again, you great big bully/_

_/R-ryou, what the hell has gotten into you/_

_/Nothing/ _With that last statement, Ryou cut off the mind link now clearly annoyed. A loud bang resounded throughout his room as Bakura slammed his knee and fist into the door.

"Open the fucking door now, Ryou!" the yami screamed in rage. Ryou quickly jumped around his room to pack a small bag. Even he knew that his trusty door was no match for Bakura when he was like this. Ryou quickly grabbed his knife and pushed open the small window, if it could even be called that, and began the process of shimming out of the house. He heard his door breaking open and Bakura's blind cursing as he looked about the room for his light. Ryou kept his shimming, praying that Bakura would not see him.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, you little fucking slut!" Bakura roared when he spotted Ryou trying to escape. The small man cursed and worked faster to get out. When he finally did, and managed to hit the ground, he ran. Ryou ran faster than he thought possible. He knew Bakura was chasing after him and he knew that it was most likely that Bakura was going to catch him.

A sudden jerk around his stomach told him all he needed to know. The spirit had finally caught him. With what air he could draw in his lungs, Ryou screamed. He screamed so much that the neighbors began peeking out their windows and stepping out on to their porches.

"Help me! Help!" Ryou kept screaming while Bakura dragged him back to the house.

"Help me, please! He's going to hurt me! Please!" The screaming continued until Bakura had finally managed to drag the hysterical man back into the small home. Ryou quickly made a run for his room and made it in before realizing it did not do him much good seeing as the door had been broken down. Bakura stood in the doorway, anger barely concealed in his face. Ryou turned to face him just as Bakura tackled him to the bed. The older man pinned Ryou's arms above him and straddled the petite waist.

"Ah, Bakura! My arm, stop it!" Ryou whimpered, praying the blood would not start to flow again.

" You should be more worried about the rest of yourself, not your fucking arm," the yami growled, increasing the pressure on the smaller man's arms to prove his point.

"Ahhh! No! Bakura, stop it! Stop!" Ryou screamed that time as he felt the cuts reopening. Bakura paused for a minute when he felt something moist of his hand. Lifting his hand, he saw red liquid covering a good majority of his palm.

"Ryou. Ryou, what the hell?" Bakura looked down at his light in what seemed to be interest and shock. Ryou pushed with as much might he could muster against his yami and made a break for his bathroom. Bakura caught him and pulled the light to his body.

"Ryou, what have you done?" Bakura pushed up the sleeves of the turtleneck.

"Bakura…don't…" Ryou whispered. The spirit looked in shock and horror at the arms of his light. Cuts were everywhere. Some were just random slashes but the newer ones appeared to be in a design.

"Oh, my Ra…" Bakura's face became pale at the sight of the marring cuts on the pale skin in front of him. Ryou, ripped his arms from the stronger's grip. He ran for Bakura's room, locking the door and reinforcing it with the two chairs in the room; one from the desk and the other from the corner closest to the bed. The pounding never came and the tired , frightened light fell asleep in the room of his abuser. The smell of vanilla and jade rocked him to sleep with tears in his eyes.

…wow, I finished the chapter. I know it's uber short and I'm sorry about that. I promise that the next one will be longer and don't expect it until late April. That's when my deadline will be. I promise to try to get it in before then though. I thank all the marvelous people that reviewed the first chapter. Your encouragement pulled me through the mud.


	3. Someday

**Foreword**

**I apologize muchly for this taking sooo long to post. I'm running so stretched right now. School's almost out for me and I'm trying to get my grades up to somewhere around decent in two classes. I am going to keep trying to update monthly, but if I cannot please stick with me. I love you all for your encouragement. Really, it makes me feel excessively happy when I read a good review. Your support is wonderful. Thank you.**

**One thing I'd like you all to be aware of is that in July I am going to be in Oregon for a week or so. I have not decided if a chapter will be posted or not, but I will try! - I'm so happy to almost be done with my Freshman year. Love much, Othello's Adonis.**

**P.S. This chapter is kinda fluffy in the beginning, but gets a bit more serious towards the end. Guess you cannot write, serious stuff all the time, ne? **

_Faceless Abuser_

"**_Someday, we gonna rise up on that wind…Someday, we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flying"_**

_**-Flipsyde-**_

Ryou rose the next morning from Bakura's bed in a sort of stupor. The events of last night swirled in his head. Bakura knew. He knew that Ryou was cutting himself. It was not so much the thought of it as it was the wonder of what Bakura would do. Would he take away the knife? Would he yell and hurt Ryou? Or would he just ignore it? Moving from the yami's bed, the small boy trudged slowly into the bathroom and turned on the water to wash his face. After he declared to himself he looked decent enough, Ryou moved to Bakura's closet to pull out a uniform.

He dressed slowly, not wanting to face any of the truths from the past two days. Moving out of Bakura's room, the light tiptoed down to the kitchen only to find Bakura sitting at the table, seemingly glaring at him.

"Eat your breakfast and go get changed. You're staying home today," Bakura's rough voice floated around the room, but softly. It almost seemed to be an angel's feather, soft and gentle landing by and tickling Ryou's pale ears. The hikari merely blinked.

"I beg your pardon?" Ryou's voice was tight, almost sounding forced.

"I said that you're staying home today. I called you in sick," Bakura tried to sound annoyed, then sighted and ground out," Look, if you aren't going to eat, then go change into one of those big shirts of mine. I want to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about. And I need to go to school, we have an important test today," Ryou replied in a monotone.

"The hell there isn't! And the hell you are!" The yami slammed his fist onto the kitchen table, making Ryou jump up one stair in fear. Ryou quickly gathered up his wits and ran for the door. He had it open, he would make it. As he got to the first step two arms wrapped themselves around his neck and shoulders.

"Ryou," Bakura whispered into his light's ear," Please. Listen to me."

Ryou shut his eyes tightly before sighing and nodding his head in agreement. Bakura slid his arms down until his fingers brushed the light's own. Lacing his fingers between one of the smaller boy's fingers, he lead the brown eyed boy back into the house.

Ryou quietly walked back up to Bakura's room and grabbed a button up shirt out of the other's closet. The sleeves were long as to hide the cuts that adorned his right arm and the colour of the shirt was black. Not one of those faded colour blacks; it was still pure black, like the midnight sky. And the smell was unique. It was like walking in an old ruin filled with jasmine with the faint hint of vanilla. There was even the smell of soft, old dust. It felt ancient and safe.

"You know, that shirt looks pretty good on you," a voice came from behind, rousing Ryou from the daydream. Turning, he saw Bakura leaning on the frame of the door, arms crossed with one leg in front of the other. Pushing off the doorframe, Bakura walked over to Ryou, who was blushing and looking down, and pulled out the sides of the shirt.

"Hmmm, it is a bit big though," Bakura chuckled before smoothing the cloth along Ryou's thin frame, stopping his hands on his light's hips. Ryou took in a deep breath, trying to quell his trembling body, hoping Bakura would not notice. But, as with all things, Bakura noticed and backed away, removing his hands.

" Sorry. Look, come downstairs now okay?" Bakura turned away from the small boy and trudged down the stairs. Ryou followed shortly after, but not before grabbing the blanket off of Bakura's bed to wrap around himself.

"Bakura," Ryou called in a small voice," Bakura, I borrowed your blanket okay?" A sudden force swept Ryou's feet out from underneath him, scaring him into hysteria. He began to scream but soon found an obstacle, making it quite difficult. Lips had descended upon his, quieting him. The kiss was soft and gentle, not harsh like the kisses Bakura gave. The other's lips softly kneaded Ryou's lips and that's where Ryou snapped open his eyes and tried to push away from the body that was holding him prisoner.

"Ryou! Calm down dammit!" a hard voice commanded. The frightened boy recognized to voice and quieted immediately. He shivered in Bakura's arms, wishing desperately for his knife. Also just to be away from Bakura. The way he was being held was so like that night, by the same hands that felt their way all around his body. The same breath was blowing gently against him, sending unwanted tingles all throughout his body. The night of Ryou's fall from innocence kept playing over and over inside his head. Every moan, every gasp, every touch was committed to memory inside his mind.

"Get away from me!" he screamed and writhed within Bakura's grip until the yami dropped him. Ryou shot off like a bat out of hell towards his room. Upon reaching his destination, he grabbed his comforter and wrapped it around his person, like a shield from the world. Pushing up his sleeve, he began to scratch at the cuts, trying to draw blood.

"What are you doing, idiot!" two arms grabbed the smaller's, stopping the mutilation. Ryou screamed at his yami to go away and to let him go, but Bakura just held him there, wrapping his arms around the hysterical boy.

Ryou struggled and struggled until he was too tired to fight anymore. Soon, he began to sob. Turning in Bakura's grip he sobbed into the older one's chest, seeming to forget that this was the person that had done all those terrible things to him. Bakura did nothing, just sat there and let his hikari sob on him.

"Why?" Ryou whispered, "Why is it, after everything you've done to tear my life apart, you're the one that provides the most comfort?"

"I don't know," Bakura whispered back, wrapping a single arm around Ryou's back and up into the smaller's platinum hair.

"Your touch, no matter how much pain and fear it brings, seems to wash away the hurt of the rest of the world, just as rain washes away the signs of a bad yesterday."

"Ryou…" Bakura pulled his body back and peered into the brown orbs that were so much like his own. There he saw an explosion of emotions. There was fear, hurt, anger, a touch of kindness that was always there no matter what, a glimmer of hope and something else. Something that Bakura was almost afraid to identify. It meant something to those that regarded the emotion and embraced it.

Bakura then did something that could be considered extremely stupid. He leaned down and kissed Ryou, holding him in place with his arms. The hikari went into a sort of shock and just let it happen. Bakura pushed both of them backwards to lie down on the bed, still kissing Ryou.

Suddenly then, something happened Bakura did not expect. Ryou started kissing him back. It was timid and it leaked of fear, but in was still a return kiss. When the kiss ended, Bakura looked into the pinned boy's chocolate eyes and saw nothing but complete submission. His eyes were glazed over as if he were simply waiting for the entire moment to end. He had the look of a dead person. This reaction to the passion Bakura was embellishing upon him, made the yami angry and he slapped Ryou without even thinking.

"What's with you! Is this how you react to someone showing you passion? Gods, no wonder no one wants to be your lover!" Bakura screamed in frustration.

"But, you do," a quiet whisper left Ryou's bruised lips.

"What?"

"But, you do. You throw passion on me as if it were some cheap piece of clothing. Why else would you keep a this parade of kisses and embraces if you did not feel anything for me?" Ryou pushed himself up to bring his pale face up closer to his yami's. Bakura stumbled off the bed and away from his light, face totally flushed.

"What's the matter, Bakura? You're acting funny," Ryou made a twisted smile and cocked his head to the side. Bakura, finally beating down his blush, growled and pounced at Ryou, pinning him to the bed once again. This time though, instead of kisses, there were punches and slaps.

"I'm the one acting weird, Ryou? Not at all. I'm acting just like I always do."

"Ah, yes, you seem to be," Ryou mocked, making Bakura even angrier as he pounded to fragile body into the mattress.

"Dammit! You little whore! You mean nothing to me! You hear me! Nothing!" Bakura fumed and raged. When his anger was used up and gone, Bakura removed himself from the bed and stalked towards the door, leaving Ryou lying on the bed, bloody and crying.

"Yep," Ryou whispered to himself as he carved more marks into his arm with the knife that had been left on the floor, "that's the Bakura I know. He really hasn't been acting any different. Maybe it has just been me…"

Ryou's body shook with sobs before he actually managed to get up from his place on the bed and stumble towards the shower. Turning the knob for cold, he stepped in and let the water wash over him.

"This is who I am," he thought aloud, "I'm completely numb and alone within this foul body that keeps me trapped on this horrible planet we call Earth. Why does it have to be this way? Life never seems to want to give me a break. It always wants to see me cry. Well, now it can't, because I won't cry anymore. I won't let Life have that single satisfaction."

Ryou stepped out of the shower, dried off and got dressed again. Moving downstairs, he walked to the door, completely ignoring his yami.

"Where are you going?" Bakura demanded.

"None of your business," Ryou replied before shutting the door behind him. He walked to the closest electronics store and purchased a Walkman and several CDs. Next he went to a clothing department store and bought some new pairs of jeans, lots of tank tops, long sleeved shirts and three hoodies.

When he finally got home, Ryou had several bags hanging off his arms. Once again ignoring his yami, the boy marched up to his room and set down all the bags. Then, he found the hardware tools in he hall closet and set out to fix his bedroom door.

After taking two hours to get the door fixed and actually aligned straight with the doorframe, Ryou locked himself in his room to begin his transformation. Through it all though, the small boy knew it was just a shell to hide under because he couldn't admit that he was afraid to let reality in. It meant that the world would intrude on his last place of peace and solitude and with it powerful jaws, tear him apart.

No, Ryou wanted to be able to hide from the bare truth for as long as he possibly could if not forever. It meant though, that he would have to change his world into something different. He did not want to feel so scared, so alone, and that is what frightened him the most. The fact that he was alone.

Ryou fell to his knees in front of the bed and began to sob on the black comforter.

"It's raining again, how sad. The rain makes me sad," Ryou sobbed till he could not release any more tears. Forcing himself to stand, the small boy continued to bustle about the room and put everything he had purchased away. The CDs went into a drawer with the Walkman and the new clothes went into the closet. Looking at his clock, Ryou saw that it was still only two o' clock. Smiling to himself, he pulled out his Walkman and one of the new CDs. The volume was kept low but it did not really matter to the hikari anyway, it was not really for listening to. It was just an object to fill his mind with other thoughts.

When Ryou woke from the nap he had dozed into, he realized it was dark outside. Sighing and pushing himself off the bed, he put away the Walkman. Now what to do? He had finished all his homework and it was the weekend anyway, so, now what? Ryou moved over to the phone and dialed a number.

"Hello, Otogi speaking."

"Hello, Otogi, its Ryou."

"Oh, hey man! How are you? We were all pretty worried after you fainted yesterday."

"eh-heh heh heh. Sorry to make you guys worry. I just was not feeling too well that day."

"I kinda deduced that."

"Yeah. Hey, can I come over for a bit?"

"Huh? Sure, why?"

"Ah, just needed to get out of this house."

"I see. Well, should I come get you or will you just come over here?"

"I'll walk there, m'kay?"

"Kay. Bye."

"Bye bye."

Twenty minutes later, Ryou stood in front of his friend's house waiting for the door to be answered. Otogi smiled at his friend when the door opened. Ryou walked up and quickly hugged his friend before darting into the house. It felt so good to get away from that house full of memories.

"By the way Ryou, I adore your new wardrobe. Black really suits you," Otogi smirked at his friend playfully.

"Shove off, Otogi. I've gone for a change in style," Ryou responded, quickly catching on to the game.

"Now, now, why so feisty, eh?" The black haired man purred, " It's just that you look like some sort of villain from a Final Fantasy game."

"Ah, about that, would you straighten my hair for me?"

"Um, sure, but why? I like your hair the way it is."

" I told you I was changing my style. Have to include hair too, ne?"

" I suppose so."

"Wai! Thank you muchly, Otogi!" Ryou glomped his friend, sending them both to the floor laughing. Life seemed to be getting a little bit better behind the mask that was now set into place and would never, Ryou hoped, be cracked.

**Wow…I didn't even manage to get this one up in April. Sorry about that! ;;; I tried, I really did! Anyways, I don't like this chapter. It is kinda undescriptive and boring. That's my opinion anyways. Gotta love the Final Fantasy reference though. Lots and lots 'o' dialogue in this chapter. Pretty dry for the most part and I hope to make the official May chapter much, much better. Sorry to have kept you waiting so long.**

**Much Love,**

**Othello's Adonis**


	4. Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

**Othello apologizes for lack of updateness! . She has been absurdly busy with school. Now that it is out updates should be less problematic. Had lots 'o' writer's block too. And I've been trapped in the idea of writing a book. Decided to stop being lazy though and write something for you wonderful people that put up with me. **

**Faceless Abuser**

"**A million times I've asked you and then, I ask you over again. You only answer, 'perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…'"**

**-Cake-**

White hair bobbed down the street. Ryou walked softly but quickly which was rather hard to do in Otogi's uniform. They were close to the same size but Otogi still had a bit more height to his credit. Last night Ryou had spent the night at Otogi's, during which time the platinum blonde has his hair straightened and learned how to put eyeliner on. Honestly, Otogi scared Ryou just a bit sometimes.

Otogi meandered along next to him complaining about something or other. The wind tussled Ryou's hair and he stared up into the sky.

"Hey, Otogi," the teen called to his friend.

"Hm?" Otogi mumbled whiled turning to face his friend.

"Do you ever wish you could live in the sky?"

"Eh? Ryou, what are you talking about? I prefer the earth any day. What makes you ask?"

"Dunno really. Just wish I could live up there, where you have no problems and can be free of pain. I wish I could live there, where I would not hate myself as I do. In fact, I'll go there one day. I live where no mortal pain can touch me again," Ryou chocolate brown eyes fell from their gaze on the sky to his friend. Otogi was staring at his friend with fascination and disbelief.

"Ryou, you are not gonna commit suicide, are you?" Otogi took a tentative step towards his friend.

"hm? Don't be silly Otogi! Why would I do such a silly thing? I'm not that desperate," Ryou smiled at his friend_. Not yet anyway,_ Ryou added in his mind.

"This coming from the fool who runs away from home and cuts his wrists? Don't believe a word of it Otogi," a rough voice barked out behind Ryou. Spinning on his heels, Ryou caught sight of platinum blonde hair. Bakura stood there smoking a cigarette. He gave a little mocking smile to Ryou when he finished his pivot turn.

"Ah, Bakura! W-what are you doing here?" Ryou tried desperately to change the subject. He really hoped Otogi would not try to bring up Bakura's comment. But, Otogi being the man he is, gaped at Ryou before yelling.

"You what? What the hell Ryou! Are you really that crazy and desperate?" Otogi's voice echoed down the street and other bystanders began to slow their pace and stare at the three men.

"Ah, Otogi? Do you think you could not yell? We are in the middle of a crowded street…" the smaller man gazed at his friend desperately. People had begun to whisper and point at them. Bakura blinked and began to laugh. Ryou gaped at his yami before becoming angry.

"What the hell is so funny?" Ryou demanded of Bakura. The older man just kept laughing at his double.

"Ah, Ryou. I hope you never change. Looks like it is too late for that though." The taller man ran a hand through the hikari's recently straightened hair. Ryou snorted and swatted the hand away.

"Don't presume that it is okay to touch me," he snapped at his yami. Giving a final look at Otogi, the teen took off at a run. _Don't follow me. Ra, please don't let them follow me. Especially Bakura. He'll make an even bigger scene._

Ryou reached the school shortly thereafter. He skipped his morning "hellos" to Yuugi and the others as Otogi was standing there with them. By the looks of it, he had been telling about the morning's activities as well.

"Damn," Ryou muttered under his breath. "There will be no way to avoid them in class either…maybe I should just go home. That could be the safer thing to do. But what if Bakura is there? He'll totally flip out on me for being rude to him."

The options of escape were fast becoming limited and the young man began to feel trapped. It never bothered him as much before, but after that incident with the ancient spirit, feelings of being trapped were occurring more and more often. It scared Ryou, almost as much as the thought of that night frightened him.

"I'll just leave then. Walk around town for a while. Maybe go back to that shop where I purchased that knife. I bet he has some new stock in," Ryou leaned against the wall, trying to calm down. His breath had become shallow and his hands had begun to shake. Taking in several deep breaths, holding them for a few seconds, then releasing it helped but did not knock out the effect completely. He actually longed for the feel of a warm touch to soothe the fear away.

"Ryou? What are you doing hiding here?" a familiar voice questioned. Turning, Ryou saw the muscular form of Malik. The tanned man took another few steps closer to the platinum blonde, his boots making a clunking sound on the cement ground.

"Ah, hah, Malik. What are you doing here?"

"You know, Ryou, I just heard something rather disturbing," Malik stopped his advance to glare slightly at the other.

"Oh? What did you hear?" Ryou asked with false innocence.

"I heard that you have been cutting yourself," Malik's eye twitched as he increased his glare on the light.

"Is that so? Well, you have nothing to worry about because it isn't true," the frightened teen flashed his friend an unconvincing smile.

"Let me see your arms then."

"Huh? Why? I told you that it was not true."

"Ryou, while the others may be dumb enough to believe that shit, I am not. Or have you forgotten whom you are talking to? Now, let me see you goddamn arms," Malik growled and snapped out his arm, clasping Ryou's.

"No! Malik! Stop! That hurts!" Ryou cried, pulling against his friend's grip.

"It would hurt less if you would stop pulling. You must know that the chances of getting your arm free of me are slim to none. Now, stop struggling or it will just get worse. It does not help your story that the cuts are lies either," Malik replied smoothly while still pulling up the other's uniform sleeve.

"No cuts, eh? Then what the hell are these?" Malik growled as he peered at Ryou's marred arm. Cuts littered his forearm, some random, some made designs and the ones that appeared to be the freshest spelled out words.

"Gods, Ryou…why would you do this? What could be so horrible about life?" Malik mumbled softly. He pulled the weaker man's arm to his face and ran his lips over the cuts.

"Eh, Malik, please let go. It hurts," Ryou whimpered. He tired to pull his arm away again but the other only gripped the arm tighter.

"Not until you tell me why you did it."

"It was a lot of things," Ryou replied. "There. I told you. Now let my arm go."

"What the hell sort of reason is that? What sort of things?"

"Just things. Personal things! Now let me go!"

"No! What sort of 'personal things'?" Malik kept prying.

"Things that are none of your damn business! Those sort of personal things!" Ryou screamed before using his free hand to slap Malik hard across the face.

"Now let me go!" Ryou screeched. He was trying desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. Malik still did not let go which made Ryou even more frustrated and frightened. He knew that while Malik had his good points, he was also very much like Bakura. His heart began to beat wildly while thoughts of what the stronger man would do him for slapping him.

Ryou started to struggle even more, becoming quite frantic. Malik growled in anger and grabbed Ryou's other hand, which he had been using to get free by pushing against Malik's shoulder. Now Ryou was powerless to get free except by trying to pull away. This, obviously, was not going too well. In an effort to get free, Ryou resorted to using his legs to make Malik lose his balance.

The platinum headed man began kicking at Malik's legs, aiming for his ankles mostly. His plan was no working out too well, so Ryou aimed a kick at Malik's knees. The back of his knees to be precise. This time Malik's legs gave way, causing him to fall back. The only hitch was, he hadn't let go of Ryou. The smaller man fell after the Egyptian, landing on top of the other but still tilted slightly to the side.

Malik had let go of one of Ryou's hand and for this, the other was grateful. He pushed himself up and tried to get away, but no such luck. Malik's grip on the other wrist was quite tight, not allowing the frightened man to get away.

"Why you…"Malik threatened as he pulled down the shaking teen, flipping them over so that Ryou was stuck underneath the other. Obviously, this did not do much for the quaking boy. Flashbacks of the night Bakura raped him flew through his mind. He saw when Bakura had trapped him down to the bed, similarly to the situation he was in now. He felt Bakura's hands running down his sides and the yami's panting breath against his face and chest.

"God, no…" Ryou choked out as the tears broke out and slid down his face. "God, please. Not again…please, no."

Ryou began to sob, not even seeing Malik anymore. He was a prisoner in his own mind and he was frightened. It kept playing there like a broken record. He was stuck in his own private hell, and it was not like Dante had described it. Not at all.

"Ryou? Ryou, are you all right? Ryou!" Malik gave the smaller teen a shake. Ryou did not even seem to be able to see him. It was like he was trapped within his own mind. He watched in shock as tears began to flow from his eyes and he whispered out something Malik could not understand. He sat up and pulled the brown-eyed teen with him.

"Ryou? Ryou, talk to me, dammit. Ryou!" Malik yelled at his companion. Chocolate orbs turned to Malik, tears still flowing down pale cheeks.

"Malik…"Ryou sobbed before reaching out his hands and wrapping them around the taller's neck. Malik randomly kneeled there, not exactly understanding what the hell was going on. He did not hold the other teen, just let Ryou cling to him and sob on his shoulder.

"You will protect me right? You won't abandon me too, will you?" Ryou soft voice asked through Malik's shirt. Malik raised an eyebrow before gently wrapping his arms around the sobbing mass in his arms.

"No, I suppose I won't," Malik whispered in Ryou's ear, making him shiver. Ryou continued to cry into the warm shoulder.

Malik had helped Ryou to their class that morning, as he doubted the platinum blonde could do it on his own. In fact, he was pretty sure that, had he not aided Ryou to the classroom, he would have just skipped school entirely. Of course, Yuugi and all the others had tried to talk to Ryou and find out if Otogi had been telling the truth. None of them were as direct as Malik had been, but he supposed that was a good thing. Ryou might just snap totally if they tried to.

Not that it did them much good. Ryou did not even acknowledge that someone was there. He simply kept staring ahead at the whiteboard. Malik watched with mild curiosity at the poor teen. He looked as though the shit had been kicked out of him. It confused him. He knew living with an abusive yami could be tough but was Bakura really that harsh with him. Something kept gnawing at to back of his mind, too.

Ryou's reaction to being pinned was unsettling. The brown-eyed man hardly ever lost his calm and when he did, it was nothing like that. Malik had never seen Ryou in that state before. It almost seemed that simple physical contact scared Ryou into hysteria. The young man had never been big on physical contact, but it did not bother him the way it had earlier.

_Did Bakura do something traumatizing? Ryou almost seemed to be acting like he had been raped or something, _Malik thought to himself._ That's silly,_ he thought._ Bakura may be evil but I cannot imagine him doing something like that to Ryou. He is not that cruel…is he?_ Malik's eyebrows knitted together in concentration when he felt the sun be blocked.

"Can I help you, Katsuya?" Malik peered up at the blonde with irritation.

"Yeah, I think you can. What the hell is up with Ryou? Why will he not talk to any of us?" the teen slammed his palms down on the desk.

"No need to get violent," Malik snorted. "And it sounds as though you are accusing me of harming poor, little Ryou."

"Well, did you?" the amber-eyed man accused. "He has been acting weird ever since you brought him in to the class this morning. He refuses to talk, hell, he refuses to even acknowledge out presence."

"No, Katsuya, I did not do anything to him. He was like that when I found him this morning," Malik snapped pointedly. He hated to be blamed for things that were not his fault.

"Have you ever considered that maybe he just wants to be left alone?" Malik sneered his classmate but made sure it was loud enough for the others to hear him. Ryou turned to look at Malik with shadowed eyes, then smiled. Getting up, he moved over to sit by Malik. Well, "sit by" is not exactly the right term to use. It was more like Ryou plopped himself down in Malik's lap and snuggled his head into the confused other's chest.

"Wha-what the hell?" Malik peered down at Ryou as the platinum blonde drifted slowly to sleep in his lap.

"Mmmm, warm…" Ryou murmured and cuddled closer._ What the hell is with this kid? First he flips out when I touch him, then he cuddles up in my lap? He really needs to figure out which he is. Is he afraid or is he overly affectionate?_ Malik grumbled in his thoughts as he wrapped an arm around the unconscious hikari in his lap. The others, except for Anzu, thought it was confusing and awkward.

"Malik," Anzu chirped happily, "You should have told us you and Ryou were dating!" Everyone gaped at her and Malik just about had a heart attack.

"We're what!"

"Dating! It's so cute how you two look together," Anzu continued to smile brightly.

"We. Are. Not. Dating," Malik growled. "He apparently thinks I make a good pillow and decided to test the theory. That's all!"

"Oh, come on now! You do not have to be ashamed of who you love," Anzu insisted. The blonde Egyptian could not believe this! He had never been ashamed of anything in his life, and he was not about to start now. If he said he and the sleeping lump in his arms were not dating, then they weren't!

"We are not dating! Dammit, Manzaki, don't you give me that look!"

"I have no clue as to what you are talking about," Anzu replied innocently.

"The hell you don't!" Malik screeched while still holding on to Ryou. His hand had even traveled to Ryou's exposed ear to cover it from all the noise. Anzu noticed and pointed it out to everyone, which pissed Malik off even more. He moved to get up but Ryou groaned and clung tightly to Malik's uniform shirt.

"Mmmmm, too loud," Ryou mumbled before turning and cuddling his face deeper into Malik's chest. After humming something, he drifted off to sleep again.

"Best not to wake him again," Anzu giggled.

"Damn you, Manzaki. Damn you," Malik growled. He swore to himself to make that wretched girl pay someday.

The bell for class rang and students poured into the classroom. Many stopped to stare at Ryou and Malik, before quickly turning away to their seats as Malik was giving them the 'comment and I will teach you the true meaning of pain' look. The teacher waltzed in, not even noticing the two teens before she turned to address the class.

"Alright then class! Shall we get started with filling your useless craniums with knowledge? Not like many of you will actually use my teachings to make the world better. In fact, you all will probably become psychotic killers and murder people in their beds," the teacher announced cheerfully. How she got this job, Malik never knew. She did not seem to be one of those people you want to hire on account of the fact that they are incredibly unstable.

"Well then! Let us be on our way to…Malik, why is Ryou sleeping in your lap?"

"Ma'am, it is because they are dating," Anzu replied before Malik could even open his mouth.

"I am going to maim you so badly, your own parents will not recognize you, Manzaki! For the last fucking time, I am NOT dating him!" Malik screeched across the room.

"Then, why is he on your lap?" The teacher asked once again.

"Because he's a nut case and decided I would make a wonderful pillow," Malik snapped, still glaring at Anzu.

"Well, just wake him up and tell him to go back to his proper seat," the teacher reasoned irritably.

"You wake him then," Malik griped. "I have not the heart to do it."

"And why would that be?" The teacher really was getting annoyed now. How hard was it to wake someone up. She walked over and stretched out her hand to rouse the sleeping boy, but then looked at his face. He looked so innocent a pure in his sleep. He was a whole other person. His face appeared younger as well. Now the teacher understood why Malik did not have the heart to wake the petite teen.

"I see what you mean," the teacher moved away but had a faint blush gracing here cheeks.

"Do you now? So, what am I to do then? Just get up and dump him in his seat?"

"Ah, no. That would just be cruel. Take him to the infirmary and have them let him rest there.

"That would be wonderful, but the only way for that to work is if I take off my shirt. He seems to have become attached to it," Malik pointed to where Ryou had his clothing in a death grip. The teacher sighed in frustration. Why did it always have to be her? She never did anything to deserve this.

"Fine, fine. He'll just have to stay on your lap until he wakes up," the solution slipped out of the teacher's mouth easily. They did not need to wait long either. A few minutes later, Ryou's eyelids fluttered open and he yawned. Turning to Malik, he smiled and thanked him for being a most wonderful pillow.

"Well, now that we have that squared away, I have an announcement to make to you all," the teacher smiled cheerily at her students. "The school has decided that they have worked the hell out of you enough for now and are throwing a dance for all the juniors!"

Ryou smiled as though the thought made him happy, but inside he was squirming. All his friends would want him to go and he could hardly say no, but would he have to go alone? Everyone else would manage to find a date to go with, but Ryou had no real interest in anyone right now. Well, no one from the school anyways and he had the sneaking suspicion that the person he would want to ask would say no…

**Wheeee….bit of a longer chapter to make up for not updating in so bloody long. I hope you all enjoyed it and no, this is not going to turn out to be Ryou/Malik. Just had to stir that into to confusion. I expect to be able to post up the next chapter soon as well. I have it all planned out in my head already. And if you've ever seen Queer as Folk, you'll get a kick out of one of the scenes at the dance.**

**I love you all so much. I, again, apologize for my tardiness. :whacks self with a bat: Forgive meeee!**


	5. Heaven, I'm in Heaven

**Squeak! 'nother update for my loves. Ra praise the ones who have stuck with me through this escapade. Yay! Dancing! Othello cannot guarantee how long this will be. I hope to keep it at about the same length as the previous chapter. That was a nice length, no? Once again the plot thickens:laughs insanely: Ryou's little brush with death is coming up, so hold onto your pantaloons! **

**Faceless Abuser**

"**Heaven, I'm in Heaven, And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak; And I seem to find the happiness I seek When we're out together dancing, **

**cheek to cheek."**

**-Fred Astaire-**

White hair blew in the wind as Ryou trudged down the street. His mind was acting on autopilot to find the way home as other thoughts ran through his mind. The dance, to be precise. His mind whizzed through a hundred different scenarios, none of them were pretty. He was so distracted that he actually passed the house.

"Hey, Ryou, where are you going? The house is right here," Bakura called to his light. Ryou turned around; a faint rose blush crept up on his cheeks.

"Oh, yeah, right. Thanks Bakura," Ryou turned back to the house. He stepped lightly up the steps but was stopped by Bakura grabbing his hand.

"What's on your mind, Ryou? It isn't like you to miss the house," Bakura pulled on his hand to make him sit down. The platinum blonde complied with his yami's tugging. It would be hard to explain, he wasn't even sure he could explain his predicament to Bakura.

"Well, my school is hosting a dance this weekend. I want to go with someone but I'm too scared to ask the person. See, they can be really hot headed sometimes and might take it the wrong way. It would be really bad if the person did because they might do something horrible to me," he explained softly, chocolate orbs glued to the ground. Bakura was actually quite intelligent; he would figure it out quickly enough. Ryou wanted his yami to be his date to the dance.

"Forget it, Ryou. I won't go with you," the spirit spat out the words like venom. "Why should I go with you anyway? Because I care about you? The hell I do. You go with all your little friends. Or better yet, go find some chick to go with you."

His chocolate brown optics closed as his fists clenched tightly. He knew that would the answer. That was always going to be the answer. Bakura simply didn't care about him. It was totally understandable. Who could love him? Certainly not his friends. Sure, they cared about him but they didn't love him. Not in the way Ryou needed to be loved, at least.

"I understand, Bakura. Sorry to have bothered you about it," he let the words, the lie, flow gently from his lips. Standing, he walked up to the door and into the house. Tears were threatening to fall down his cheeks, though he wouldn't let them fall. The teenager fought back the tears viciously.

There was a resounding slam as a door shut in the upstairs. Ryou threw himself onto the bed and screamed into a pillow. Life really must have hated him. What did he ever do to get on its bad side? Did he not celebrate living enough? Not take part in the opportunities presented to him enough? Whatever. Platinum hair swished gently as he got up from the bed and retrieved his knife. More, that was all he could think of. More cuts, more pain, more relief. Red lines appeared as Ryou made the knife dance across his skin.

There was a sick sense of satisfaction as the light did this. A twisted smile painted his face. Maybe it was somewhere between a grimace and a smile. It didn't really matter what it was. It didn't suit Ryou's elegant features, not at all.

The cutting was finished soon enough and he washed away the blood from his arm. Ryou changed into some sleeping clothing. Tomorrow was going to be the night of the dance. The school had quite literally sprung it upon the students. Many of the girls had complained that one day wasn't enough time. Their teacher had simply shrugged and said that the school didn't care about the time frame problem. Ryou closed his eyes tightly and sighed. _Forget it. Just forget it. There's no reason to keep thinking about. You'll just go by yourself. Maybe someone else will dance with you_, the hikari sniffled and let himself slide into the abyss.

He didn't dream this night, for which he was silently thankful. He knew that he would probably have dreamed about **that** night if he did. There it was. Always haunting every step Ryou took. Echoing in the wind through every breeze. There was honestly no escaping the memory. He could run as long and as far as he wanted, but it would still be there, waiting for the light and laughing cruelly all the while.

_**(time lapse)**_

School had been dismissed early today to allow the students time to get ready for the dance. Not that it mattered anyway. No one was paying attention throughout the entire day. All the girls were too busy trying to find dates and gossiping about who was going with whom. What they were going to wear and other such silliness. A few people had asked Ryou if he was going. The teenager simply answered with a shrug and continued on to his invisible destination.

When school had been let out, Ryou sighed and began the short march home. He preferred to walk. Walking gave him time to think. Anzu had pestered the platinum blonde all day about going with Malik. Malik had finally threatened to cut her outfit to ribbons during the dance if she didn't stop. She quit rather suddenly after that, though still insisted and grumbled that the Egyptian and Ryou were going out.

Deep brown eyes closed as Ryou let out an exasperated sigh. He could hear Anzu calling for him to wait up, which resulted in him speeding up. Though Malik and his motorcycle shortly stopped him from pressing on.

"Get on," the Egyptian held out a hand. Ryou didn't question since he could hear Anzu still chasing after him. He quickly grabbed the hand and hoisted a leg over. Malik took off quickly down the street. He headed towards the platinum blonde's home, about an hour long walk so about twenty minutes by car…or, in this case, motorcycle. Malik stopped right in front of the steps for Ryou. The light got off the motorcycle and stood in front of Malik.

"Thanks for the ride," he smiled lightly at the other. Malik nodded but didn't take off just yet.

"Do you need a ride to the dance tonight? I'll take you if you like," he offered.

"I could use a ride, yeah. Thanks," Ryou smiled once again as he watched Malik nod and take off down the road.

"I saw that," was the first thing he heard when he stepped through the door. Bakura was glaring at Ryou, which he shrugged off nonchalantly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Bakura."

"Bullshit. What did Malik want? You stood out there long enough talking," he growled.

"Calm down, Bakura. He was just offering me a ride to the dance tonight. I'm sure you remember that," Ryou sighed. There was no escaping the interrogation now. Bakura obviously suspected something was up between the two of them.

"Don't mock me, Ryou. You know better than that. Why was he offering you a ride?"

"Because we're friends, Bakura! Why else would he offer me a ride? For goodness sake, you sound like you're jealous or something!" Ryou's voice rose a tad. He was tired of being questioned about Malik. They were friends! Just because he had taken a nap on him does not mean that there was anything intimate going on between them. If there were, he would have asked Malik to the dance instead of Bakura.

"I'm not jealous!" Bakura screeched out as he slapped Ryou, hard. The light yelped and held a hand up to his cheek. It hurt, throbbed.

"Then stop acting like you want to know if Malik and I are an item. Then, and only then, will I believe that you aren't jealous," Ryou sighed, still holding his reddened cheek. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for the dance. Malik will be back in a few hours."

Ryou trudged up the stairs to dress and make himself up. He came down around two hours later. Black. That was all he could be described as. He wore loose yet clingy pants that hugged his waist. There were white straps wrapped around the pant legs in random spots. The long sleeved shirt was just about the same. It hugged the light's slim figure, again with white straps covering the sleeves in random places. His already pale skin glowed against all the black. Ryou also wore a pair of black combat boots.

And makeup. Oh, there was makeup. Eyeliner could be seen under his eyes and designs graced the side of his face. An extremely small amount of glitter, probably from a Halloween past, shone in the kitchen light. Ryou's lips were a dim red colour. It was almost impossible to tell that it was actually Ryou. Sweet, sweet Ryou. The innocent and beautiful teen that the world had always known.

Bakura looked him up and down with a rather bewildered expression. "Ryou, when did you buy those clothes? And that makeup?"

"When I went shopping that one time, Bakura. Now, tell me what you think," Ryou made a small smile appear on his features. In all honesty, Bakura didn't think Ryou looked human anymore. His features stuck out in all the right places, giving him a sort of elfish look.

"You look fine," Bakura grumbled as the doorbell rang.

"Oh, that'll be Malik. Well, I'll see you later, Bakura," Ryou waved at his yami and opened the door to smiled brightly at Malik. "Shall we?"

"Uhm, sure. Ryou, you look a bit different from what I expected you would look like."

"Oh? Is it bad? I was just going for a new style," Ryou looked himself over a bit.

"No, it isn't bad. Just different. Well, let's get going," Malik shrugged and headed back down to his motorcycle. Ryou followed, got on and they both headed towards the school, leaving Bakura alone.

(random scene change)

Marik walked the street, scowling at just about everyone. The kind of scowl that would send chills up and down one's spine. He was heading over the home shared by both Ryou and Bakura. The latter had called him and asked him to come over for a bit. _This had better be good. He knows I detest leaving the house for any reason_, Marik continued to walk and glare at the passerby. The house came up quickly and the yami grumpily walked up the steps, knocking on the door.

"Bakura? Open the damned door. You asked me over, now let me in," he growled out. I couple kids jumped at the voice and hurried on by. There was still no reply from Bakura. Growling once again, Marik kicked in the door. He was suddenly grabbed by a set of invisible hands.

"Did you put him up to it?" Came an angry voice in the dark.

"Who is 'him'? What the hell are you on, Bakura? I haven't put anybody up to anything lately."

"Don't bullshit me. You put Malik up to asking Ryou to the dance, didn't you," he pale yami accused. He was beyond being irrational currently.

"Dance? Seriously, Bakura, what gives? Malik said he was giving a friend a ride to the school dance. Then he'd give him a ride home after it was over," Marik growled as he pried his shirt free of Bakura's grasp, before sniffing the air. "Are you drunk?"

"No, I'm drinking," Bakura answered in a hiss, letting Marik actually walk into the house.

"Same difference. What's up? You don't drink this much unless something's bothering you. Might as well spit it out and not beat around the bush. What's gotten you into such a tizzy?"

"You're as blunt as ever, I see," he grumbled, flopping onto the couch.

"Like an axe. So, what's on your mind?"

"Ryou and Malik. Do you think they're going out?"

"What makes you think that? Ryou say something?" Marik looked oddly at Bakura.

"No, but he dressed up tonight and seemed unusually happy when Malik came to the door. It was just a ride, he said. I just can't get it out of my mind," he groaned out.

"I see now. You're jealous of Malik. You like Ryou, don't you," Marik grinned. Now he was interested. Bakura rarely showed any interest in anyone.

"I'm not jealous! And I don't like him," was all he had for a weak defense.

"Pfft. Yeah, sure you aren't, Bakura. Ryou can't be going out with Malik by the way."

"What? Why?"

"Because he's going out with someone else currently. Last he told me he was, anyways," the yami grinned in reply. "Now, get your sorry ass up and off that couch."

"Why the hell should I? I've got no reason to," the other yami growled and closed his eyes.

"Because, if you don't get up this instant, I'm going to drag you to that school dance as you are. And if you should lose articles of clothing along the way, you'll have to suck it up and deal. You, my friend, are going to get up, get dressed and go have a good time with Ryou."

"Don't I wish. Ryou's too afraid of me, Marik. I did some things to him that I can't ever take back…"

"What did you do now?" This was beginning to get annoying, which he made clear with a frustrated sigh.

"I…Well, I raped him for one. Then, I was abusive to him for some great length of time," Bakura sighed out the confession.

"You need to get a life. Please, do me that favor. Ever think that maybe Ryou likes you and the reason he's acting so close with Malik is to get your attention? Or are you too stupid to even try that one?"

"Shut the fuck up, Marik."

"No. No, I won't. Now get your ass off that couch and to that dance."

"Damn you and your out of character helpfulness."

"What can I say? You be stupid, I be stupid. It's life, quite unfortunately," the Egyptian yami grinned. The other yami pushed himself up and headed towards the door…and to the dance…

(random scene change)

A lone, scruffy figure walked through the doors of the high school's gym. There was loud music blasting, allowing many teens to form groups and dance. Most were in a sort of formal type of dress. This made it easy to pick out Ryou and Malik, who were both wearing clothes that would suit someone going raving.

There was a sudden flurry of whispers as the figure walked into the crowd and towards Ryou. The afore mentioned teen didn't notice at first, and if he did, he ignored the figure trudging towards him. Malik noticed it though and pointed it out to Ryou quite hastily.

"Ryou, Bakura is here," he whispered as the music slowed to a stop. The light turned to see his yami walking towards him, looking rather amused. He didn't move as Bakura finally reached them and grinned. A slow song started.

"Mind if I take over, Malik?" Bakura barely flicked his eyes to the Egyptian. Ryou appeared to be a bit confused.

"Uh, no. Go right ahead, Bakura."

"Bakura…what…?" Ryou seemed to be totally lost now. The yami said nothing as he wrapped an arm around his hikari's waist and used his free hand to gently grasp Ryou's. With the music to lead him, Bakura began to slowly move and dance with Ryou.

Ryou caught on quickly enough what Bakura was doing. He let himself be led in the dance, smiling lightly. It was what he'd wanted to happen before and now it was.

"I though you wouldn't be caught dead here…"

"I can make exceptions sometimes," Bakura growled in reply. "Now, shut up and dance."

"Pfft. Yes, Bakura," Ryou giggled as the song continued on. They danced and people stared. The two appeared to be at peace as they danced. Most of the students couldn't understand it. The scruffy one had slapped Ryou only a few days before yet the teen was smiling while being led in a dance by the attacker. Malik smiled. It was perfect. There was a sudden poke to his ribs. Anzu.

"What Manzaki?" He growled, good mood now ruined.

"Why is Ryou dancing with Bakura instead of you?" she whispered curiously.

"Because Ryou wants to dance with him, okay? What does it matter to you anyways?"

"But I thought you to were going out…"

"No. You assumed that we were going out. Manzaki, you need to get a brain. Since when did I ever show any interest in Ryou as something more than a fried? Never," Malik hissed at Anzu, making her shrink back a bit. Taking that as the cue to leave, she did so.

The dance slowly came to an end; Ryou and Bakura were standing alone on the dance floor. Many students watched excitedly, hoping that maybe the two would kiss. That was mostly the girls but all of Ryou's friends seemed very interested at what was going to happen next. Ryou took a deep breath before leaning up to gently plant a kiss on Bakura's lips. A sharp slapping sound and a yelp followed.

Ryou's body could be seen in a heap on the floor. He was shaking and a few girls gasped in surprise. Malik's eyes had widened as he ran to Ryou to help him up. There was a small amount of tears running down Ryou's cheeks. That was all it took to ruin the designs he'd drawn on his face.

"Bakura, what…?"

"When did I ever say you could kiss me? Don't assume things just because I came to dance with you. It was just for kicks, Ryou. Do you honestly think I would come here because you asked me to? Please! Get rid of those damned hopes already! I told you what you are in my book. Don't think that's about to change,' Bakura spat at his light angrily. Ryou trembled in Malik's hold.

"I understand, Bakura. I'm sorry for assuming such a silly thing. Please forgive me. After all, you made me into your whore," Ryou spat back at Bakura. He was done being the little weakling that was picked on. Malik let go of Ryou and backed away. Several students had looks of horror on their faces. Bakura's eyes were wide.

"Ryou..what…what's gotten into you?" He watched the shaking teen.

"Oh? Don't you remember, Bakura? Maybe you were too drunk to remember but I do. I remember because every single night I dream about it again and again. How you took away the last thing I had pride in. The last thing I could say was pure and waiting for someone I actually loved. You took away the last shred of innocence I had," tears were falling like made from Ryou's face now. There was a deep silence among the students. Now they were all horrified. Ryou was raped? Sweet, wonderful Ryou was stripped bare to the bone?

Bakura choked on the words. Of course he remembered that night. Even when he was smashed, he could remember the night through a haze. Bakura hadn't been smashed that night, only drunk.

"You abuse me, Bakura. And if that weren't enough, you make me abuse myself," Ryou rolled up a sleeve of his shirt and let his scars and cuts show. Designs and words were clearly visible. His friend's had gone pale. The other random girls in the room turned away, fearing they would be sick if they continued to watch.

"So, who's that bigger monster? Me or you? Tell me, Bakura! Tell me!" Ryou screamed. Oh, yes, he was hysterical now. He had just told practically the entire school's population that he had been raped…And that he cut himself. Ryou shook his head and ran out the door. He was ready to do home. The light continued to speed towards his home. He reached it soon enough and threw open the main door. Ryou raced up the stairs, moving quickly into his room to once again pull out his knife.

"Good night world. Good night friends. I'll miss you all. Goodbye," Ryou whispered and winced as he slashed his wrists. Blood came pouring out. It would be all over soon. So very soon, he would be free of everything. The light lay down on his bed as his world became hazy. He never even noticed as a fading form rushed into the room. All he knew was that it had picked up something Ryou assumed was the phone and dialed a number. Then, his world went dark…

**Dun, dun, dun! No, Ryou isn't dead. I just thought that would make a good cliff hanger. :laughs evilly: It was a crappy chapter. I'm sorry about that. I tried my best to make it at least okay for you, my loves. I'll try harder on the next chapter. Much love and always, Othello.**


	6. Ne Me Laisse Pas Seule Ici

'**Ello, 'ello! I love all of you who reviewed:huggles you all: I feel like I have many spiffy readers. You're reviews make me laugh and smile. I guess I should tell you that I'm insanely busy. School is now in session for me. I doubt I'll be able to update as often as I'd like so, but I'll try. Much love to all.**

**Faceless Abuser**

"_**Ne Me Laisse Pas Seule Ici"**_

**-Hotel Rwanda Soundtrack-**

White. That was the first thing Ryou saw when he opened his eyes. He was surrounded by nothing but brilliant white. It wasn't heaven. People that committed suicide didn't go to heaven…That must mean he was in a hospital. Great. The one place he really didn't want to be was the place he was. That also meant that someone saved him last night. Who, he had no idea, but he was sure he'd find out soon enough.

Ryou could hear the doctors chatting just outside his room. They were talking about him; even more good news. Groaning, the boy sat up and held his head in his hands. It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to his head. Everything made his head ache even worse than it already did…If that was at all possible.

"Ah, it seems that you've finally come to, young man. You're very lucky that you're still with us. We weren't sure you'd last the night," a male doctor stepped out of the crowd of doctors. He looked to be a nice man, probably no older than his thirties. His hair was a wavy chestnut colour that complimented his deep green eyes. Of course, none of this mattered to Ryou since he wasn't exactly in a position to be joyous.

"Would it have been so bad for me to die? It's not like I have much to live for anyways," Ryou murmured softly. He knew the doctor could hear him, which, again, seemed of no great consequence to the boy. His hand clutched the sheets tightly, anger seemingly filling his mind. He didn't want to live, dammit! That wasn't what he cut his wrists for. He wanted to die.

"What do you mean, Ryou? You have many things to live for. You're still young and have much to experience in life," the doctor tried to encourage the boy to want to get better. This didn't help and only made the already depressed boy sink lower. It would only be so long before he snapped and screamed at the doctor.

"No, doctor. I haven't much to live for in life. So, why do I have to live? According to you, I'm young. But then, why does my body feel so stretched and old? My mind is caught in the haze of yesterday's fog and you want me to live for that?" There was accusation present in his voice, which took the doctor by surprise.

"Well… I mean…You…Well, you see…" he was at a loss. What could possibly make a boy feel that way? Yes, he was depressed and wanted to die, but still…

"Forget it, doctor. Just give me the paper I have to sign to be released and let me go home," Ryou sighed and held out a hand for the paper. At first, the doctor looked like he was going to protest before sighing and pulling something off his clipboard. He handed the paper to Ryou, who took it numbly and found some old pen to sign it. When done, he stood shakily from the hospital bed and gathered all the things that belonged to him. Not looking at the doctor, the boy left without another word to anyone. Not even the nurses.

Getting home wasn't hard. He didn't call for a ride, instead deciding to walk all eight miles to his "beloved" home. Slipping the key into the lock, the door moaned at the return of its owner before creaking open. Ryou didn't expect anyone to be home, which was a grave miscalculation on his part. Almost as soon as the door was shut, a voice arose causing him to jump.

"What are you doing home already? They told me you wouldn't be out for the next few days," Bakura stood in the main entranceway, his silhouette the only thing one could see. Ryou backed against the door, slightly uneasy with this new development. Judging on he strong he felt right now and how strong Bakura almost always was, he knew there were slim chances for him to escape. Body still tense, Ryou answered softly, fear edging into his voice.

"I asked to be released and signed the paper saying I'd not try to commit suicide again, Bakura. So, they let me go home early," he shivered slightly. The house was abnormally cold today. The man in front of him began to step closer, making the boy push his body farther into the door, almost trying to go through it and run away. That's when he smelt it again; Bakura was drunk…again. What was he going to do now? There was no way he could fight the other when he was drunk. Closing his eyes, Ryou prepared for the worst.

But, no slap or drunken kiss ever came. Instead, he felt arms embracing him softly. Opening his eyes lightly, the hikari realized that the other was hugging him. Almost a hug two friends gave each other to say they were sorry. "Ba…Bakura? What…?"

"I'm so sorry, Ryou. I know I hurt you a lot, but I want you to know….I really love you a lot. I'm so sorry. I love you," was that a sniffle? Now Ryou was completely confused. Bakura put him through all that and then claimed to love him! Pushing the man off heavily, the boy slapped him…hard. Bakura looked completely confused. "Ryou…What? Why?"

"You expect me to believe you after everything you've done to me! You abused me, Bakura. You even raped me! And now you want to tell me that you love me! Why? Why!" He was screaming now. He knew Bakura had no plausible answer to his question either. Something hot stung his eyes and Ryou realized he was crying. Shrieking in anger and frustration, the boy ran to the kitchen, almost desperately.

"Ryou! Ryou, what the hell are you doing!" Bakura screeched after his hikari. He saw Ryou pull out a knife from a drawer and prepare to cut his wrists again. Eyes widening, he pulled of a sort of flying tackle, causing the knife to go skidding off in an unreachable direction. "Ryou, no! What are you doing!"

"Let go of me! I want to finish it! Let me finish it, Goddammit!" Ryou screamed whilst thrashing against Bakura's hold. Tears were still spilling out of his eyes. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Let me go! Bakura, let me the fuck go!"

Bakura wouldn't let go though. Instead, he pulled the trashing and angry boy into his hold, tears almost spilling from his own eyes. He heard the words, and understood that he deserved them, but that wouldn't stop him from trying to change the boy's mind. Ryou's thrashing soon subsided into shudders and sobs. His fists hit the other meekly in the chest before stopping completely.

"I hate you…Why? Why can't I hate you? Why can't I…? Why is it that I always feel safe in your arms and no one else? Why do you mess with my mind this way? Why!" The poor boy continued to cry, hands making their way up and around Bakura's neck.

"Shh, I don't know," the yami answered in a meek voice. He held the boy lightly, knowing that anything more would only make the moment go sour.

"I want to hate you. I want to, so much. But I can't and I hate it. I hate feeling so weak and stripped bare in front of you," Ryou's voice was wavering a bit, becoming progressively tired. His mind was making him sleep. It was making him shut down for just a little while. Everything that had happened had just been a total overload for the poor, high school student's mind. His eyes fluttered lightly before closing, allowing him to fall into a blissful sleep in his abuser's arms.

He couldn't help smiling just a bit at how the young boy fit just right into his arms. Sliding his other arm under the boy's legs, Bakura picked him up and carried him up the stairs. They both needed rest, though Bakura needed it for the purpose of sobering up. After the boy had cut himself the previous night, Bakura had ransacked his room. Something he didn't want Ryou to wake up to later on. Stumbling into his own bedroom, the yami laid the boy on the bed before sitting next to him. He brushed a bit of hair that had fallen into Ryou's face, almost smiling lightly.

Moving to the end of the bed, Bakura pulled off the boy's boots and socks. Pulling off his own socks, the yami laid next to his little love. Not that Ryou would ever let himself become Bakura's love. Once again smiling, the man placed a light kiss on Ryou's cheek. 'He's so cute when he sleeps…Like a small child,' he remarked to himself fondly, 'My little, adorable child.' These were his last thoughts before slipping into the oblivion that meant sweet release from the chains of reality. And so, the two slept in relative peace on the same bed. It was a sweet scene and one they might even remember years from now.

**oO Abnormally short chapter, loves. I'm really sorry for that but if I tried to make it any longer, it'd never, ever get done. So, Bakura's finally confessed his love! How will Ryou react to this? Find out in the next chapter! Oh, kudos to anyone that knows what the bit from Hotel Rwanda means. Maybe I'll do something special for someone if they figure it out first…**


	7. My Immortal

**Well, I'm finally writing another chapter of _Faceless Abuser._ I'm sure you all loved me for the incredibly long break I took. I'm sorry about that but I had a lot of crap piling from school. So, I needed a few months to rest up. Again, I'm sorry about such a long break. Oh, and since it seems has forbidden people to use lyrics from songs, I can no longer give you song lyrics to accompany my chapters, I'll have to find something else….I really don't wanna get in trouble, but I liked doing song lyrics….Sorry. This'll be the last time I put song lyrics up.**

**Faceless Abuser**

"_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears/ When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears/ And I've held your hand through all of these**_

_**years/ But you still have all of me"**_

_**-My Immortal.Evanescence-**_

Ryou was the first one to wake up and instantly realized he wasn't in his own room. He sat up quickly, rather frightened. The platinum blond surveyed the room and only then did he realize that he wasn't alone on the bed. Looking down, Ryou saw Bakura's sleeping form lying next to him. He was about to panic and rush out of the bed, but didn't. He was still clothed and so was Bakura, meaning the other hadn't taken advantage of his weakness last night when he came home. This was either a reason for concern or a blessing sent from God. Ryou sincerely hoped it was the latter.

Eventually he became too restless and wiggled his way out of the bed, careful not to wake the still sleeping other. Once he managed to accomplish this task, he quickly went to his room to change. He needed to get into new clothes. This of course led to him barely holding back a scream of surprise when he saw that his room had been completely ransacked. Joy. He would have to put it back together again later. Ryou knew who took his room apart, but he wasn't about to go yell at Bakura for invading his privacy. That could turn into a death sentence.

Picking up a few things off the floor, the platinum blonde pulled a clean navy blue shirt out of the drawer and a clean pair of faded blue jeans out of the closet. He really didn't feel any need to be picky since he wasn't going to school today anyways. Walking back to the doorway, he turned around to survey the damage before heading downstairs to prepare some food. This was his usual routine, which meant that Ryou was pretty much on autopilot right now. Not that it mattered. It gave him time to think over everything that had happened in the last week.

He pulled on his black cooking apron that was given to him at Christmas and pulled a hair tie out of one of the two pockets on the apron. He couldn't very well have his hair getting in that way and catching fir or something odd like that. Ryou pulled his hair up into a comfortable ponytail and then set to work with his cooking. _Hmmm…Bakura likes pancakes. I'll make those then._ Once finished deciding, the teen pulled out everything he'd need to make pancakes. Now he could use these precious few moments to think over a few things. _So…let's make a timeline. Bakura has been abusing me ever since he could make a physical form…he raped me three or four days ago…he shows up at my school and slaps me in front of everyone…he then says he won't go to my school dance when I ask him and shows up anyways when I'm dancing with Malik…we fight in front of everyone and scream about how he raped me…I run home and try to kill myself…Bakura saves me…I come home all confused and Bakura confesses that he loves me…We sleep together…Bakura does not take advantage on me…_

Ryou set down the bowl he was mixing things in to sighed and hold his head. This was giving him a headache just thinking about it. It was like some sadistic trick of Bakura's to confuse the hell out of him. It was agitating. Shaking his head again, Ryou picked up where he left off in making the pancakes for his Yami. His mind was still trailing through all the events he'd just chronicled. It didn't take long to finish up the pancake batter and start making the actual pancakes. Not long after this, he heard movement upstairs, meaning that Bakura had finally woken up.

Even though Ryou had thought about how he would act around the spirit earlier, he now felt his heart jump into his throat. Talking wasn't the same thing as doing. He inhaled deeply to calm his nerves down and finish the pancakes without burning any of them. He was finished just before the soft thump of feet told Ryou that Bakura was coming down the stairs to eat…or at least find out where he went. Ryou put a plate full of pancakes on the table before continuing to bustle about and grab things like syrup and butter for Bakura.

"Oh, good morning, Bakura. Breakfast is ready if you'll just wait a moment for me to get a plate for you," Ryou smiled calmly at Bakura before doing exactly as he'd said he was doing. He reached up and grabbed a plate off one of the top shelves. He turned to put it on the table only to have Bakura right in front of him, startling the poor boy and making him almost drop the plate. "W…What is it? Bakura? Is something the matter?"

The yami didn't reply, simply looked down at the other and pulled the plate from his hands to set on the counter. This made Ryou feel uneasy. Bakura was watching him with such intense eyes, he was sure he was blushing by now. "Really, Bakura, what is it?"

Again he didn't reply but this time instead of watching him stoically, Bakura leaned down to bring his face closer to Ryou's. The teen made a meep-like sound and leaned as far back as he could without breaking his back. Bakura followed after him and caught his face with his hands. Ryou's eyes became quite wide when the older of the two kissed him gently on the lips. He was afraid of this, afraid of what he would have to admit, so he didn't do anything. He waited for Bakura to move away, which he did eventually, but it wasn't far enough away for Ryou to feel any better than before. Instead, one hand remained on his cheek and the other slid down to rest beside his hip on the counter. The hikari's breathing hitched as his yami leaned down again to kiss him again. This time though, after a few moments Ryou's eyes slid shut as well. He didn't kiss back, per say, but he did push back against the other's lips lightly.

Bakura pulled back after that to look Ryou in the eyes. Apparently what he saw there made him hang his head and then rest it on Ryou's shoulder. "I'm sorry….That…I shouldn't have done that. I just don't know how to make you understand that I meant it when I said, 'I love you.' 'Cause I do, Ryou. I really do. I may have hurt you for a long time, but you always took it. You were stronger than me. I always liked it when you smiled. I don't know why I beat you up so much. I really don't. When I see you with your friends, you're always smiling and look so happy. But when you see me, you look afraid and cry. I hated that there was a side of you I couldn't have. I wanted all of you for myself. No one else should be allowed to see your smile. It's my precious thing. The thing I love so much that it hurts when he leaves me alone. But it hurts even more when the one I love is around me and doesn't acknowledge my love for them. I want my precious person to smile that way only for me. I don't want anyone else to be allowed to see that smile…"

Something moist wet Ryou's shirt and he realized, with no uncertainty that Bakura was crying. Bakura never cried. It wasn't part of his nature to cry like that and it made Ryou worry. One of his pale hands came up to half hug Bakura and shortly after that the other joined in. The yami didn't move at all and simply settled for crying even harder. This really made Ryou worry. He didn't like it when people cried. "Don't cry, Bakura. Please don't cry. If you cry, so will I."

"But then that means you feel what I feel…"

Ryou didn't really know how to explain this. He felt like he was holding a child all of a sudden. "I can understand your feelings, Bakura. I really can. I felt that way about someone before as well. I didn't want to share them with the world. But if you try to force your love on a person it becomes a burden and they may not like you anymore. One-sided love really is very painful. But, Bakura…I can't. I just can't. I love that you love me and it makes me happy, but I can't return these feelings. At least not now. I don't understand everything that's going on in my life. You, my friends, my own mind, you again. I feel so confused right now and I haven't had any time to sort out my feelings. I don't understand anything anymore…Everything changed between us on that night. Everything."

Neither person moved at all. Bakura continued to cry on Ryou and slowly wrapped his arms around the smaller's waist. The boy fought off the urge to flinch and continued to hold onto Bakura. They just sort of stood there, both hugging each other awkwardly. Ryou shifted from one foot to another to readjust his weight distribution, but still held on. He would hold on as long as Bakura needed him to. He just couldn't explain it. He didn't hate the spirit even though he had every right to. He had been tortured by this man for years and now he had a chance to hurt him back, but he couldn't. Ryou wasn't that type of person. Yes, Bakura had hurt him, but Ryou couldn't hold onto pain and sorrow forever. It only made a person bitter and cruel. Instead, he let it go. This was the moment where atonement was made. Bakura was sorry and even said he was. He poured his heart out to the boy, risking everything and came out a winner in the oddest way. Ryou may not return his feelings but he did accept them and his apology. That was enough to make any person feel like everything had been washed away and given them something clean to work with. And he could do it, too. He could become a good person, a person Ryou would want to love.

"Don't change, Bakura. I love you just the way you are. You have your own personality. Don't change it so that I'll love you. 'Cause then it isn't love. It's a pretense relationship. If I fall in love with you, I want it to be because of who you really are deep inside your heart, not because of who you try to be in front of me," Ryou whispered softly, making Bakura jump a little bit. How had he known what he was thinking? That was freaky. The mind link was closed, so there was no way that was how he figured it out. Bakura was about to keep pondering when Ryou interrupted his thinking process yet again. " Don't worry so much about it Bakura. I just have a keen sense on insight and empathy. Just be who you are deep down in your heart and I'm sure I'll love you."

He smiled softly at Bakura who nodded silently. He couldn't explain what made him say that, but something deep within him hoped he would love the person Bakura was deep down inside. He knew there was compassion and goodness in there somewhere, but it was up to Bakura to find it. If he couldn't, then they wouldn't be together. However, Ryou had a feeling he'd wait for however long it took for Bakura to find all this within himself. He would wait to see what kind of person Bakura really was. If he could cry, he could do many other things.

"Will you wait for me?"

"What?"

"Will you wait for me to find that person deep inside myself?"

"…Yeah."

Bakura hugged Ryou tightly before letting go and the smaller boy did the same.

"Now you need to eat. I made all these pancakes for you after all," Ryou smiled at him and went about doing what he had been doing before Bakura had trapped him the first time. He picked the plate up off the counter, got some silverware and set the table for one.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Bakura watched the teen with slightly curious eyes. They were still a bit red from crying.

"Oh, no. I don't have much of an appetite right now. I'll eat later…after I've made some progress with my room. It seems to have been demolished last night," he spoke in an innocent voice but saw Bakura freeze for a moment and then go on eating his pancakes.

"I had to clear your room of anything you might use to hurt yourself when I can't get to you," Bakura replied simply. "I can't have you cutting your wrists again or just cutting in general. It isn't good for you, you know, It makes you skin weak."

"Ah, I see," Ryou smiled slightly and walked up the stairs. "Clear up for me when you're done, kay?"

He didn't wait to see Bakura nod. He knew the other would do that for him. Walking back up to his room, Ryou sighed. He had a lot of work to do. He had meant it when he said his room was basically completely demolished. Things were thrown all over the place, his bed overturned and several lamps knocked over. Oh, boy. The platinum blonde walked in and simply began picking things up and putting them back where they belonged. That was the easiest way to do this. Any other way would take too much effort. Before Ryou was even really aware of it, several hours had gone by and his room was back to being pretty much how it looked before Bakura came ripping through it. He smiled to himself and walked back downstairs. He hadn't heard from Bakura since the morning. Walking into the little family room, he found out why. Bakura was completely out on the couch. _He looks much cuter when he sleeps. He looks younger and less burdened._

Ryou turned and headed to the kitchen, his stomach making light growling noises. The hikari smiled to himself again and began boiling some water for tea. He didn't want to make anything complex, so he'd settle for making tea and an egg sandwich. That was always yummy. It didn't take long to make either, nor did it take long to eat. Ryou finished up quickly and then cleaned off all the dishes that needed cleaning. Everything he did today was relatively simple. He made simple food and kept to doing only simple tasks. It was things like that that made Ryou really happy though, so it was a good thing. He liked taking his time doing simple things because then he could enjoy it more. Finishing off the rest of his tea, Ryou cleaned the glass and set it out to dry. "There…all done with-eep!"

Ryou felt to arms wrap around his waist and he looked up, his heart already freaking out. Bakura smiled at him sleepily and spoke with the sleepy slurred voice. "Hey, Ryou. Whatcha doing?"

"Oh god, Bakura. You scared me," Ryou looked up at him still, forcing his heart to calm down. This was…nice, for lack of a better word. He didn't feel afraid or overly happy, just content. Which made him unconsciously lean back to rest his back against Bakura's chest. _ I wonder if this is what it's supposed to feel like when you're married to someone…Not excited, not afraid. You're just there and nothing can ruin you. You're safe in your lover's arms and they'll protect you…_The doorbell rang and Ryou looked over to it. He looked back up at Bakura who looked like he was half asleep. "Bakura…I should probably get the door. It's probably Yuugi and all them coming to yell at you…"

"I'm in no mood to go at it with the Pharaoh and his brat," Bakura mumbled, hot breath lightly running against Ryou's cheek and making him shiver. The doorbell rang again and this time a few knocks came after it.

"Maybe not, but they aren't going to go away. And if Malik or Marik is with them, they'll find some way in here," Ryou sighed. Bakura squeezed him around his waist gently and let go.

"Oh, alright, alright. I'm going to go hide up in my room," he mumbled and yawned before waving and heading up the stairs. Ryou smiled in a slightly fond manner before opening the door to several angry and upset faces.

"Uhm…Hello," Ryou blinked, feeling slightly awkward. It was like they expected Bakura to answer the door or something. Upon the pack realizing it was Ryou and not Bakura who was at the door, their gazes softened. Malik spoke up first.

"Hey, Ryou. Is Bakura in?" everyone standing on his steps nodded, wanting to know.

"Yes, but he's sleeping right now," Ryou replied softly.

"Then we're going to wake him up," Anzu stomped her foot on the ground and pushed past Ryou to get to Bakura's room.

"I wouldn't, Anzu-san. He really is tired and isn't in a good mood," Ryou sighed, hoping that would stop her. It made her pause for a moment and turn to look at him.

"And how would you know?"

"Uhm…" Ryou blinked again, clearly confused. "Because I've lived with him for at least six years? Look, I don't see where this game of 20 questions is going…"

"And it isn't because he beat you up to make his mood better/" Anzu almost yelled accusingly when a plush toy hit her in the head.

"Would you shut up already? Can't a guy get any sleep around here?" Bakura came down the stairs, looking slightly agitated.

"Why don't you all come in," Ryou spoke in a quieter voice than before, which made his friends wonder. Did Bakura's presence do that? "Would any of you like something to drink? Tea? Soda?"

They all shook their heads no, but Bakura shook his head yes. This made Anzu snort and say loudly, "You live here. Get it yourself."

"Now you listen here, Manzaki," the yami growled, turning to face her. Ryou came up and put a hand on Bakura's arm to calm him.

"Come on now, Bakura. Don't be like that. They're just worried about my well being," Ryou smiled awkwardly at them. With other people there, everything became awkward between them. "What would you lie to drink, Bakura?"

"Iced tea, please," he said calmly, making everyone stare at each other and shift around uncomfortably. What the hell was going on here?

"One iced tea coming right up," Ryou smiled at his double and walked off into the kitchen to prepare said drink. No one spoke for a moment and then everything erupted at once into nothing but tangled pieces of conversation. The boy could ignore it for the most part while they all seemed to bicker and brought Bakura his iced tea. That was when everyone quieted down again. This didn't help Ryou feel any better. Why were they all acting this way?

"Is it true, Ryou?" Yuugi blurted out the question suddenly, yet calmly. Ryou looked at him with calm eyes. Yuugi was always the one that managed to speak up when no one else could and for that he respected him. "What you yelled about at the dance, is it true?"

Ryou sat down in a bit squishy chair. He curled his legs up underneath him and looked at them each before fixing his eyes exclusively on Yuugi and replying, "Yes, it's true."

This apparently wasn't they answer they were hoping for as there were many gasps and horrified looks. Ryou shrugged and looked over at a painting on the wall. It would help him keep his calm. He knew there was a storm coming after all.

"But why didn't you report it to the police, Ryou? They can do something about it," Honda took his turn speaking. Ryou turned away from his calming painting to look at him.

"Because I didn't want to. Admitting that so soon after it happen would be like reliving the moment all over again. And I couldn't live with that," Ryou sighed, looking over at Bakura and seeing him tense.

"And why is he even here in this room? This isn't something he needs to listen in on," Jou growled, pointing to Bakura, which made the yami retaliate by glaring at him.

"We are dancing around a topic that concerns him and he does live here as well, Jou-kun. I can't very well kick him out of a house he lives in with me," Ryou replied calmly. He had to stay cam. He knew the storm was still waiting to hit and that it would hit hard.

"That doesn't mean he has to be in here listening to the conversation!" Anzu stood and shrieked. Oh, boy. There was no stopping it now.

"Goddammit, Manzaki! Sit the fuck down and stop screaming about how I shouldn't be here! I'll be here if I want to dammit!" Bakura stood and roared loudly, making her shy back into her seat. Once Anzu was subdued into her seat, Bakura took up his place in a reclining chair again. "That's better."

"Can we not use yelling, please? It's agitating," Ryou shifted around in his seat and everyone turned his or her attention back on him.

"Ryou-kun, why didn't you come to school today?" Yuugi spoke again for them all. "Are you hurt or sick or something?"

"No, Yuugi-kun, I'm not hurt or sick. I just decided to take a day off. I needed it. I've had a long week," Ryou explained, closing his eyes and shifting around again. He couldn't get comfortable. Something was missing. He felt fine earlier when Bakura had been holding him, but now…Ryou's eyes snapped open when he realized what he'd just thought of. Bakura made him comfortable. He liked being in his double's arms. He liked the gentle, warm arms protecting him. The teen looked over at Bakura when he finished with his realization and started to tear up. Next he felt tears running down his face. He tried to wipe them away, but more just took the place of the ones he'd removed. Ryou cursed softly under his breath and kept at it, but couldn't seem to stop.

Everyone watched in mild surprise as Ryou started to cry. Bakura especially was confused and surprised. What was wrong? He stood and growled to make the rest of the inhabitants of the room stay in their seats. They did as they were silently told. He kneeled in front of Ryou and shook him lightly, gently. "Ryou? Ryou, what's the matter?"

He jumped when someone touched him and looked at who it was. He felt like crying all over again. It was Bakura who got to him first. The teen sniffled and uncurled his body to grab onto Bakura. This surprised the other and he fell back a bit, taking Ryou with him to the floor. Not that this really mattered to the boy; he just sniffled again and held onto Bakura even tighter.

Bakura was really confused now, but felt something wash over him like it always did when he held Ryou. It was that feeling that everything he'd ever done wrong didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was this moment; here and now. He kept one arm on the ground to prop them up and wrapped the other around Ryou's lower back.

It came again. That feeling of complete and utter ease. He didn't have to move around anymore to be comfortable. He just had to hold onto Bakura and everything would disappear. Ryou clutched onto Bakura's shirt and began crying all over again. Oh, God, he was in such trouble. He really was falling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole that made love so confusing and twisted. He could feel his heart cam down and his breathing became even again. Everything was back in its perfect balance and Ryou found the place were he belonged. In the arms of his captor, tormentor and probably closest friend. This was home.

**DunDunDun! No, it's not the end, though this would make a very cute and fluffy ending. Ryou's waking up and realizing that he feels safest in Bakura's arms. Yay! I've finally gotten through another chapter. I hope you can all forgive me for taking so bloody long to get it done and up. I tried to make it a little bit longer than some of my other chapters and I promise to try to get chapter eight up hopefully before March is over, but id may not be until mid April. Once summer comes, my updates should became monthly again. Love to all, Othello.**


	8. As I Love You

**Eh-heh…Yo…I feel really bad for not updating when I said I would. Really I do. I just can't for some reason. The Othello Internal Clock does not move at the same pace as the rest of the world. So I apologize right now for being so dumb and not updating till now! I'm so, so sorry! I use the school defense. I swear that school will be my downfall one of these days. And than I went off to Europe, which was wonderful, by the way. **

Faceless Abuser

_Love me without boundaries, just as I love you. That is the first step in any relationship._

"Ryou…Ryou, are you alright?" Bakura spoke softly to the sniffling teen in his arms. He was barely aware of everyone else around him right now. They didn't matter to him; all that mattered him was his beloved little Ryou. He lightly shook the boy to get his attention. Ryou looked up at him with still watery eyes, the skin around his eyes slightly puffy from rubbing it so much. All in all, it was just so cute.

"Bakura…" Ryou began with a distant voice before looking around and realizing that he still had company here. The platinum blond blushed a bit and tucked his face back into Bakura's chest. Oh, this was just too embarrassing. Why did he have to realize something like this at such a time when so many people were around? He needed to be alone with Bakura now to talk to him. He turned to peek out at everyone surrounding them. They wanted to support him, but they just weren't what he needed right now. "Bakura….I'm sorry everyone, but could you please leave for today? I'm afraid I'm not feeling too well…I know you want to help, but just leave me alone for now, okay? That's what I really need…"

"We'll always be here for you," Yuugi offered softly. Ryou smiled at him and nodded before turning away and listening to everyone shuffle out of the house. He waited for the door to slam before sighing and completely giving into Bakura's arms. It felt better this way. When no one was around he could just give in to the desire he had to collapse into the arms almost identical to his own. Only these were different; these were stronger. The arms holding him tightened a moment before loosening, allowing him an escape. _Bakura really is a big sweetheart. Even though all he wants to do is hold onto me tightly, he still loosens his grip to allow me an escape route._

Ryou shook his head and curled his body farther into Bakura's, hoping the other would get that he didn't want an escape route anymore. Even though they'd just talked about it an hour ago, Ryou knew he would be lying if he said he didn't want Bakura to hold him tightly; to keep him safe inside those strong arms. One of the hands moved up Ryou's back making him shiver a bit, but it didn't stop until it reached Ryou's shoulder. Bakura shook the other gently.

"Ryou, what's up? What's going on?" Bakura asked softly.

"I'm just uncomfortable with them here, Bakura. That's all," Ryou sighed softly. Bakura sighed as well and simply ran his fingers through the teen's platinum hair. It was really actually very soothing for the both of them. "I'm tired…"

"You can sleep on me, but the floor isn't very comfortable," Bakura commented offhandedly. Ryou looked up at the other and sighed trying to push himself up before he was suddenly in the air and Bakura was carrying him up the stairs. "How's this, then?"

"Uhm…" Ryou blushed, his entire face turning beet red from embarrassment. "This is nice. I like it…."

"Good then…" Bakura smiled softly and continued up until he was to his room. He bent down a bit to open the door and then turned sideways to get them both inside the room. Ryou blushed again and turned slightly to close the door for Bakura. The yami raised an eyebrow but shook off his curiosity and set Ryou down on his bed. The other shivered at being on a bed and being alone with Bakura, but he still felt that warm, safe feeling deep inside himself.

The bed dipped a bit, making Ryou look over to watch Bakura crawl over to his position on the bed. They watched each other until Bakura was towering over his light. Bakura placed a gentle hand on the younger male's cheek and ghosted it down to his lips. Ryou brought a hand up and did the same to Bakura. They just lay there, watching each other for several moments before Bakura leaned down and lightly placed his lips against Ryou's. It was certainly a difference from the kisses he'd given the other when he was drunk. There was meaning in this kiss, or at least there was a point he was trying to convey through it.

Ryou moved his hand from Bakura's cheek to his shoulder while his face flushed just a bit. He couldn't help the electric feeling that shot through his entire body. It was the first real, meaningful kiss that Bakura had ever given him. It was almost dreamlike. The older of the two males on the bed lifted his head away slowly to look at Ryou with searching eyes. Ryou looked back and smiled lightly. With the one arm that wasn't holding onto Bakura, he pushed himself up and planted another soft kiss on his lips and then lay back down on the bed. Before anything else could happen though, he took the yami's hand off his face and pressed it to his chest, just above his heart.

"Can you feel it? My heart is beating so quickly I think it's going to fly right out of my chest," Ryou smiled lightly up at the other. He held the hand there, waiting for Bakura to say he could feel the heartbeat in his hand.

"I feel it…It's beautiful, Ryou. So very beautiful; just like you," Bakura leaned down and kissed the teen again, this time with more push to the kiss. He slid the hand that was on Ryou's chest down to his side and let it rest gently on his hip. He figured that was as far as he could go right now because of the shudder that Ryou's body let loose. He pulled back and kissed the boy one more time one the lips then again on the cheek and again on the forehead. Ryou never twitched for any of the kisses or pulled away.

Bakura rolled to the side of the teen and laid a hand over his heartbeat again. He couldn't help wanting to feel that beautiful beating. It was beating so quickly. He smiled softly and rolled off the bed to get to the boom box type thing he kept in a corner of the room. Ryou sat up to watch what the man was doing before he heard a soft, flowing melody come on. It was the type of melody that played for couples in a dance. Bakura held out a hand to Ryou and while the other was somewhat hesitant, he took the hand and allowed Bakura to sweep him into the flow of the dance. It was most certainly different than what he thought was going to happen when they came up here.

"We didn't get to dance properly before and your school," Bakura shrugged. "This seemed like a good idea when I thought about it ten seconds ago…"

"It's wonderful of you," Ryou giggled a bit and leaned against Bakura. They continued to sway slowly and without much purpose until the song came to an end and the boom box clicked off. Both of the males fell onto the bed. Ryou smiled softly at Bakura before turning on his side and moving up so that he was al the way on the bed. Bakura followed after him and lay behind the younger boy with a small grin. At least the boy was willing to sleep on his bed with him there.

"Hey, Ryou, would you like something to sleep in?" Bakura asked suddenly. Ryou turned to look at him with a raised brow. "Well, I mean that sleeping in day clothes isn't always comfortable…"

"Oh…uhm…I guess so then…" Ryou flushed, sitting up and waiting for Bakura to get him a shirt to wear. The spirit eventually did get up and ruffled through a drawer and pulled out a dark navy blue shirt for the teen to wear. He tossed it at Ryou. The boy pushed off his pants and then hesitantly began taking off his shirt. He wasn't going to like this part. Bakura was going to see the marks and get mad again. He paused and looked over at the yami. "Uhm…Bakura… could you turn around? Please?"

"Why? Is something the matter?"

"Well, no…it's just…." Ryou flushed and looked away from the older man.

Bakura came over to the bed and sat next to the other. He then quickly grabbed

onto the other's arms and pulled back the sleeves. What he saw almost made

him feel sick. He couldn't believe it. Ryou's arms were a mass of cuts and

designs and just a big mass of red with bandages around his wrists. And it was

all his fault. He'd driven the other to this. Bakura pulled the arms towards his

body and began kissing them all over.

"Oh, Ryou…I'm so sorry…these are all my fault. If I hadn't been so cruel to you. If I hadn't beaten you or…ra-raped you. This is my doing. I'm the one who destroyed you. And yet you're still so beautiful," Bakura looked up at the other, tears slipping out of his eyes. "I'm so, so sorry…"

"Oh, Bakura…" Ryou sighed, taking his arms back and wrapping them around his waist. "It wasn't only you….it was other things going on with me; things in my head that just didn't sort themselves out…" The other male wrapped his arms around Ryou's waist and laid his head in the teen's lap. Ryou placed one hand on the man's shoulder and ran the other through his long platinum blonde hair.

"So, what are we to do?" Bakura asked after some amount of time had passed. He seemed to have gotten over his tears but he didn't move from his place on Ryou's lap. Nor did Ryou make him move. After all, Bakura had comforted him. Now it was only fair that he did the same for the man that was torn apart in his lap.

"We're to do the best we can…together," Ryou smiled softly. That apparently caught Bakura's attention as he shot up and looked at Ryou with wide eyes.

"T…Together? You mean…? As in…? Together?" Bakura looked at the other with an almost disbelieving look. Ryou simply turned to find the shirt Bakura had gotten for him and pulled his own off. He waited for a few moments, letting Bakura look at him before he slipped on the too large, long sleeve shirt and got up to go retrieve something from his room. He came back with a little brown, square box. He sat on the bed again and opened the box.

"These were my mother's. She said I should use them for something really special…Here, give me your left hand," Ryou held out his own hand for Bakura's. The yami did as he was told and soon found a silver ring with a gold design in the middle on his ring finger with the matching one in his hand. He took Ryou's left hand and slid the ring on the teen's finger, making the boy flush just a bit. He smiled at the other and held Bakura's hand. The rings clinked lightly against each other. "These rings signify that we're a couple and in love. Always together, now and forever."

"But you said you weren't ready for love," Bakura posed it in the form of a statement rather than a question. Ryou sighed and laced his fingers with the other male.

"I thought I wasn't...but when everyone else was here and I kept shifting in my seat, I remembered how comfortable I felt in your arms. You made me feel that. I was happy. It makes me think that it must be how happy married couples feel…" Ryou paused for a moment before continuing on. "And when I fell into your arms crying and you were the only one able to comfort me, I understood. I am only really and truly happy in your arms. You make me feel safe and content. It's a feeling I'd never felt before until you confessed and started changing…and the more I think about it, the more I realize…I think I loved you all along too, Bakura…It's just that everything else got in the way on me being able to say it…"

Bakura smiled as tears slipped from his eyes again and he kissed the younger male lightly on the lips before they fell back on the bed. Their ring hands were still laced tightly together as their lips touched again, sealing the love with a kiss.

**Sooo…….This is the end of the road folks. I can't write anymore. The story is all fluffy at the end, but what the hell. I like fluffy and it was the only way it was ever going to be finished. I'm sure you're all plenty pissed that this took so damn long, but I've been having my ass chewed off by just about everyone. This is the first chance I got to really take a break and watch_ Pride and Prejudice_ and write like there's no tomorrow. I've been writing for God only knows how many hour's straight and this is as good as it's going to get, lovelies. So, please accept this ending. I'm working on other things, other stories as well and if you wanna read those go right ahead. Maybe I'll write another Yugioh! story. Could be fun. We'll see what happens to my brain since it'll probably have to be a short story. Much love to all who stuck it out with me. This is Othello, signing off!**


End file.
